Not me this time

I spent most of the day yesterday in a hospital but it was not me this time. My niece Zola, 13, had an emergency appendectomy last night. Luckily, she is doing pretty good, but is running a little fever and will have to stay in the hospital one more day. Sister Sydney called me yesterday morning from the ER. I was at an appointment and did not get there until around 2pm thinking they would have probably taken her into surgery before I got there. They did not get the poor kid in until almost 6pm last night. I know she was just miserable lying there but she was a very brave. We thought the surgery would only take 30 to 45 minutes, so an hour and a half later we were all pretty nervous. Somehow there was a screw up and the doctor did not come out and talk to Syd and Jim (Zola's parents) after the surgery was finished. They had taken her straight to recovery and assumed, I guess, her parents were in Zola's hospital room. We were all in the surgical waiting area where the techs told us to wait. Anyway, Syd did call the nurses station and found out Zola had just arrived in her room. Poor thing -- she wanted her mother who was waiting for her in another area of the hospital. She is doing fine but it just breaks your heart to see that little thing with the IV's etc. While we were waiting, I kept saying to Syd, "This is taking too long, where are they, what is going on etc." She would kind of look at me and laugh and say "See -- this is what all we went through while we were waiting for you to come out of surgery and procedures all this year". I guess during surgery, it is easier to be the patient. You are asleep and everyone is worried about you. Afterwards, I am not so sure.

I am feeling much better. My discomfort is a lot less and my energy is slowly coming back. By the end of the day, I am pretty beat and have little sinking spells thoughout the day, but it is greatly improved. After our trip to England, I should have time to fully recoup and be ready to get into back into work full force. I am working for home some this week although it is generally paperwork and email. This is always a slow week anyway!

Bob and I had a quiet Christmas day, and joined friends for dinner at our neighbors the Tousets which was fun. I will work today and later get Bob to help me install and learn to work my new GPS system Santa brought. I will need that driving around south Georgia in a few weeks. I could have used it trying to navigate the halls of the hospital in Gainesville last night!

We hope you all have a wonderful happy, healthy New Year. We are excited about starting a great new 2008 and wish all the best for you all! Probably no more blogs till 2008!

Good report

Dr. Miller was still shaking his head in amazement as he walked into the patient room
I was waiting in today. He said he sees about 30 sarcoma patients a year who have lesions on their lungs. I was the only one he's had in the last 10 years (out of 300) where the cancer had not spread. I continue to feel like the luckiest person on earth. I think he was surprised when I told him I was ready to go back to work. I think he probably thought maybe the first of the year but we settled on next Monday, Dec 24. He kept looking at me like I was crazy for wanting to go back so early, especially Christmas Eve. I promised I would really just be working out of the house for a few days till we are off to England. He was fine with the trip and gave me a prescription for what he thought was enough pain medicine to get me through it. We are going to try to use Advil or Aleve as a substitute every other time I need it to wean me off. I have to admit I am just used to reaching for a strong pain killer for everything and probably am able to take lesser doses of the heavy stuff. So I am going to try to just use the hydrocodone at night, and of course on the plane.

I found myself getting pretty weepy this week, and I am not sure why. Occasionally I find myself reflecting back over the year, and while I am so grateful for the outcome, it is very disturbing when I think back on all that happened. I have not gone back and read the blog as I just don't think I want to relive a day by day account of everything just yet. Last night
I starting sorting through some things on my desk to get back into the spirit of working. I found my friend Nancy's "story" and had to read it again. Nancy was on the 44th floor of one the World Trade Center towers on Sept 11, 2001. She, thank heavens, was one of the fortunate ones who made it out. When I read through her account of that day again, it made me feel like my ordeal was nothing. While I could do nothing but sob through her "story", when I started thinking about mine, I was all smiles. Sometimes you just have to put things in perspective.

While I am not officially not back at work till Monday, I am going into the office tomorrow to do a couple of quick things and enjoy a holiday lunch with Donna, who has helped me through so much this year. Sometime tomorrow I have to get a pneumonia shot -- doctor's orders!

Other than that I have one or two errands to run before we are off to England. In the meantime, I am just healing and appreciative to be where I am!

Staying in touch

There is not a whole lot new to report. I am on different pain meds now - hydrocodone. I can't tell any significant difference in how I feel on this vs the Oxycodone. I believe the new drug is a ""lesser" drug, and I know I do not need a hard copy of the prescription to refill. I was feeling kind of bummed out as I am still as uncomfortable as I have been for the last few weeks. But if this is a "lesser" drug, then perhaps I am better since I am not taking as strong a drug? Does that make sense?

I have a couple of weeks before I need to feel (want to feel) significantly better for our trip to England. Sitting on the plane shoud not really be a problem, but I want to be more active than I have been once we get there. As it stands now, I do things for a couple of hours, then I need a rest. Very boring. We are going to try to go to 2 Christmas parties tonight. I am hoping to be able to last a couple of hours at each. It will be good practice!

I see Dr. Miller on Wednesday. They will xray my lungs first so he can see just what is going on. I am pretty sure my pain is just from having my ribs pulled apart and then cutting me open and taking a couple of chunks out (pleasant, huh?). I will be glad for him to take a look and let me know that I am healing ok and this is just part of getting over surgery. I really want to be released to go back to work -- at least from home since I am probably not ready for a full day of driving around yet. So hopefully, by the time I get back from England that will have been about 7 weeks and should be long enough for me to feel a whole lot better.

I have a full month in January after we get back-- work trips to Boston, Nashville, and St. Simons Island so I am ready to hit the ground running! My body better cooperate.

I will have my 6 month leg MRI with Doc O on January 18 and am a little nervous about that. The appointment just got set up yesterday so it is in the front of my mind. With the holidays, work and our trip, I am sure I will forget about it for a while. Worrying really does no good anyway and is just a waste of time -- that is what I keep minding myself anyway.

Two friends, Peggy and Constance, just got diagnosed with cancer. I can't really get them off my mind, and I keep trying to think of ways I can help them and their families. I can only hope I can provide even a small bit of the emotional support and prayers all of you have provided me. You helped me get through really bleak periods of time and kept my spirits and attitude going in the right direction. That is so much more powerful than you will ever know. If you have some extra room in your prayers, please keep them in mind.

I am going to try to do a little paperwork and finish up the last couple of errands I need to run for our trip and Christmas. Have a good weekend. I will post again after my visit to Dr. Miller on Wednesday.

I realized tonight I had not blogged for a couple of days. There is really nothing new. I am still
pretty uncomfortable. I am better about 45 minutes after I take the pain medication, but start aching again about 3.5 hours into it. I can take the medicine every 4 hours. With some pain meds, including mine, the pharmacy needs a hard copy of the prescription to refill it. The doctor cannot just call it in. Today I realized I would run out over the weekend. Hopefully, I will be better by then, but I just can't count on that. When I needed to refill last
Wednesday, Dr. Miller's secretary said she could not get him to sign the prescription until after 1:30pm as he is in surgery till then. I was going to be at Crawford Long seeing Dr. Saba at 11am but I did not want to hang around till 1:30. First I asked if she could just mail it to me. She said their mail goes to two different places before it actually gets mailed, and it would take a few days before it would even get out of the buidling. She was concerned that I would be out of drugs before I got the prescription. That is a heck of a way to do business isn' t it. If I had been her (I hope) I would have just put a stamp on it and dropped it in a mailbox somewhere-- to heck with hospital mailrooms, but I guess they do not think that way. I ended up just getting Dr. Saba to write the prescription. So, trying to plan ahead, I called Dr. Miller's office today hoping if they went ahead and me the prescription, knowing their crappy mail system, I would have it by the time I needed it later in the week when I run out.

Dr. Miller's nurse, Melissa, who I have not met, called me back today. She told me my records indicated I had gotten a prescription from Dr. Saba last week, and I should not be out yet. I told her that was true, how many he gave me and that I was just trying to get ahead of the game and not run out over the weekend. I was really hoping I would not need them by then, or maybe I would just need a lesser drug but I was just planning ahead. I know she did not mean to, but I did feel like I was having to defend myself like I was a druggie or something. I think after I told her about my understanding of their mailroom system, she understood I was not a junkie downing percoset every 15 minutes. However, the resolution was that on Friday I am to call her early in the day and she would order a different pain medication for me -- one that did not require a hard copy prescription. I am not sure why I have to go the extra steps, but it is "my pain" and I will do so. It seems to me she could just call it into the pharmacy to be issued on Friday and not before, but what do I know. I am just the patient (with no patience I guess).

Thursday I am going to find out the true meaning of "Misery loves company". Janet, a friend and business associate is also recovering from an illness and going through similar pain issues. She lives only a couple of miles from here. Like me, she feels pretty miserable, and she is bored out of her mind too. So on Thursday, I am going to go over to her house, and we are going to just lay around and recoup together. It will be nice to see her and while I hate that she is going through this, it will be fun to spend time with her both knowing what the other is going through to a degree. No makeup, no wig, no nothing. I may even take my Pj's and slippers for a nap.

I try to get out and run at least one errand every day. It gets me out of the bed and makes me get up and get my lungs working. I have to time it just right in the pain pill cycle or I get into trouble. I am not doing anything exciting--just going to Publix, Target etc. Today Susan and I went to Costco. I thought it was going to be a major undertaking but we timed it just right. Did you know you can actually get in and out of Costco in under 30 minutes and spend less than $50. I never knew that was even possible! I needed to get somespecific underthings because of my incision, and after checking a half a dozen other places, everyone kept referring me back to Costco. I accomplished my mission and left with exactly what I needed. The only extra thing I got was a bunch of socks. It certainly was the quickest and cheapest Costco trip ever. Having a handicapped sticker does help and keeps parking from being too much of an issue.

Now that I have bored you with the details of my last couple of days I will sign off. I just wanted you to know I was ok and am keeping the blog alive for a little bit longer. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Freedom till March

I was so happy to hear Dr. Saba say today"See you in March". That may not seem so far away to most people, but the idea that I am sort of "free from worry" till March is amazing to me. He was really pleased about the outcome of my surgery and that the chemo evidently worked. In March, I will have CT scans on my lungs again and sometime around then Doc O will order a scan on my leg. In the meantime, all I have to do is heal and have a normal life! He heard a little fluid around my lower right lung but since I have no fever he was not concerned. I think it does mean I need to be moving more, so I was up and moving around most of the day today. I am headed to Publix (by myself) tomorrow if I can, but can only buy really light things since I can't lift much. So I will do a little "light" shopping and go for short walks in the neighborhood. I may even get my nails done!

I am still hurting a good bit but got a new batch of pain meds today. Susan took me out running errands with her today for a while this afternoon and that was a good way to get me moving. By 5:30 this afternoon I was beat.

I am trying to do a little holiday shopping via the internet. We cannot take much over to England as we have a comuter flight with weight restrictions from London down to Cornwall where Bob's mother lives. That makes it really hard to bring gifts so we will shop once we get there. And that really is a shame since prices are much better here and the value of the dollar to the British pound is just awful.

Other than that I am just trying to heal and get better. Hopefully that will not take much longer, and I can get back to work soon. I have not had the ability to concentrate and read all this time, and I am really missing that. I have a long list of books so I am going to try to get started on that and see how I do. I have no other doctors appmts till Dec 19 so there should really be no news till then. I do promise to keep blogging every few days to keep you up to date my progress. I hope it does not get too boring for you to read -- actually, I hope it is the most boring thing you ever read. Boring is good!

Hanging in there

Each day seems to get a little better but I am still pretty uncomfortable. I've worked my way through the real heavy duty pain medication. They only gave me about 5 days of that along with what they call "break through" pain medicine. You take that along with the heavy duty stuff for when that is not enough and for after heavy duty stuff is gone the "break through" is what you take for regular pain meds. I am not sure what I was thinking, but I hoped I would only need one prescription of that. Boy was I wrong! I am going to see my chemo onocologist Dr. Saba tomorrow, so I am hoping he will just refill it. If not we will have to go over to Dr. Miller's office and pick up a prescription.

As you may remember, I saw Dr. Saba after I got the PET scan results. He told me I could wait a couple of months to have the lung surgery if I wanted, but that we would not know what the lesions were till they were surgically removed and biopsied. When he knew I was having the surgery, he told me to set up an appointment with him for a week after surgery. I suppose this was to set up post surgical treatment, if necessary. At that point we would be discussing if I would need more chemo, radiation etc. While I was in the hospital, one of the nurses, Marva, from the chemo center came to visit. She brought Dr. Saba's new Nurse Practioner, Felicia with her. It was so nice of them to come and see me. I asked Felicia if it was still necessary for me to see Dr. Saba after surgery since the lesions were not malignant, and she felt it was still a good idea. I am assuming the only "treatment" is going to be repeated CT scans every three months to make sure the lesions, malignant or not, stay away. Dr. Saba had already set up CT scans for January anyway. It will be nice to see him and be able to celebrate the fact there was not cancer in my lungs. He gets a lot of credit for that since he prescribed the chemotherapy treatments before and after my lung surgery.

I am not sure who is "in charge" of me now. After my leg surgery, Doc O (leg surgeon) said he was my gatekeeper from then on, and he would be ordering all scans. When the Oct scans showed the lung problem he sort of turned me over to Dr. Miller (the lung surgeon) and I set up no further appmts with Doc O. Now Dr. Saba has ordered the lung scans, but I know in Jan I should be having a scan on my leg too. Who orders that? Hopefully tomorrow I will learn "Who's on first?"

However, I do know my real "first"is Bob. He came through for me once again-- as always! When I left the hospital they asked if I had someone who could take out the staples from my chest/side area so I would not have to come back to the doctor until a month after surgery. I am pretty sure they thought I knew a nurse, doctor friend, who could take the staples out. When I told them my husband could do it they asked me his background. When I told them he was an engineer they looked at me like I had 2 heads. I explained all the stuff Bob had had to do for me the last 10 months and that we had a lot of nurse and doctor neighbors if we had a problem. I am not sure they had the same level of confidence in Bob that I did but they gave me the staple removal kit none-the -less. Bob took them out last night with no problems. He is ready to perform heart surgery now.

And finally, we were able to set up a time to go to England to see Bob's family! We have not been in year since we missed our regular summer trip there. We are going at the end of December. I will only be gone about 10 days(I've got to get back to a normal working life!) and Bob is going to stay on a couple of weeks more so he can spend more time with his Mother and kids. We have both been looking forward to going for so long. I had hoped Bob could have gone late this summer, but we had to put that off when my leg wound was not healing as quickly as we'd hoped and I got the wound vac etc. He is still having to pack my leg wound each day but it should be closed up in the next week or so. Anyway we are excited about the trip. We could not get it scheduled to be there for Christmas, but we won't miss it by much. We've been spending the last few New Year's Eve in Sarasota, and we will miss that, but we are delighted to be able to ring in the new year in the UK. Actually, I am delighted to be able to ring in the new year anywhere --and especially to not be in the middle of chemo treatments while doing it!

I am now ready to get into the Hanukah/Christmas spirit! I have a lot to celebrate.

PS Just a reminder -- if you sent a comment to the blog I have no way of responding to it personally to you as they do not give me your email address. So if you've commented and not heard from me personally that is why. I have heard from so many folks-- and many I have not seen in years -- and I am so appreciative.

Just amazing

I don't think I even yet recognized the magnitude of what happened this week and how lucky I am. That this "lung thing" (I do not know what else to call it) was not cancer is something short of a miracle. Bob probably told you that Dr. Miller said only one other time in 20 years had he seen my same situation turn out as lucky as I was. All others (and this is basically what he does a for a living) had been malignant. Thanksgiving certainly takes on a whole new meaning for me this year.

I still feel pretty uncomfortable. I am sitting up better, but am living for my pain medication. I have about a 6 or 7 inch incision. I feel like someone kicked my in the side of my rib cage and slit me open with a knife. That is pretty much what happened. I can't really lift anything, and it is hard to reach for anything more than about 6 inches away(expecially dishes, laundry, etc). I do feel a little better each day but sometimes the slightest movement the wrong way really does hurt. This is my first time to even type, but Bob promised I would blog today and so I am!

And although I hurt like crazy, I could not be happier! I am so thankful and happy that I really do not care about about the pain. It will go away!

We cannot thank you all enough for everything you all have done for us the last several months and especially for your prayers in recent weeks! They worked, and we are so grateful.

I am about out of gas today so I am going to sign off until next week. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was just amazing!

Thanksgiving Day

Geri came home yesterday afternoon. She is spending today resting uncomfortably. She says it only hurts when she laughs, coughs or breaths. Also, she has laryngitus which means I can''t hear here her when she shouts at me.

We wish you all a very happy thanksgiving. We are truly thankful for all the kindness of friends, family and neighbors who have supported and helped us through this year, and for the the medical professionals who have provided the care and expertise to get Geri to this happy point.

Geri promises she will do the blog tomorrow.

Tuesday evening

The second chest tube was removed today and the epidural. Now I only have the two central IV lines in my neck. I don't have the sharp pains in my chest now just a level-6 dull ache and I still have the jitters. As the epidural drugs wear off the pain could increase and the team may address that with some IV pain killers. Dr. Miller has just been in and said I may go home tomorrow if the pain is manageable and I'm comfortable. Yipee!

Making progress

I got one of the chest tubes out today and the catheter. I had hoped that removing a tube would help the back pain but it has not. The pain management team went back & forth as to whether they should change my drugs but in the end left things as they are. Should get the the other tube out tomorrow and the epidural. I'll be surprised if I get home before Thursday. I'll keep you posted.

Sunday Evening

I am feeling better today, although I still have shoulder pain and the jitters from the pain medication. I walked to the nurses station twice today, although I had to use a walker for support. It looks like at least one tube will come out tomorrow, maybe both if the Dr. is happy. If both, they will also remove the epidural line. I need to be here for at least 24 hours after the epidural is removed to see if I can handle the pain without it. Dr. Miller says I'll be here till Wednesday or maybe Thursday morning so the trip to the beach for Thanksgiving is off. We will do it another time.

I have slept better the last two nights with benedryl, although they wake me up to take vital signs, draw blood and do breathing exercises every 4 hours. Of course, they all come at different times so I'm lucky if I get two hours straight. Looking forward to anothers good nights sleep tonight, and I'll see y'all tomorrow.

The day after the day after

Saturday night in the big city. Geri is not feeling so well today but still excited about the overall situation, except for the fact that Alabama lost. Her shoulder still hurts and she is feeling jittery, which is probably caused by the epidural drug. Her hematocrit level is low and the Dr. said they may give her some blood tomorrow if it is still low. Syd was here during the day today and Cindy is here now and will stay the night with Geri.


Th.. th.. th.. thats all folks.

The Day After

By now you know about my good news. I'll will be so glad to heal from this surgery and get back to a normal life. I had pain in my shoulder last night and didn't sleep much; I don't know if it was the pain or the excitement. The pain is still there today but the "pain management team" have been working on it. I still have a IV in one arm, two central IV lines in my neck, the epidural in my back (with an "on-demand" button), two chest drain lines and a catheter, and oxygen tubes up my nose. With all these tubes I look like a plumbers nightmare. They won't let me have sleeping pills but I can have Benedryl which will help me sleep tonight, I hope.

Cindy has been here with me today and Bob joined us his evening. Syd is coming during the day tomorrow to play backgammon and I will watch some football (maybe). I will be here until at least Tuesday. The chest tubes will be coming out on the fourth day and the epidural, so I expect I will feel more pain then.

Many thanks to all of you for your prayers, best wishes, love and support. That is what has got me through all this. Wherever we spend Thanksgiving this year I know we have a lot for which to be thankful.

(Back to Bob) Yesterday, when Dr. O. told the entourage the good news the distaff side of the group let out such squeals of delight and whoops of joy that the policeman stationed in the lobby came rushing up the escalator to the mezzanine level where we were to quell the riot. Forty five minutes later Dr. Miller spoke with us to confirm that all went well and said that in 20 year of lung surgery on sarcoma patients this was probably only the second time the lesions had not been cancerous. He was surprised, but delighted, with the outcome. He also was concerned about flying in an unpressurized airplane so soon after lung surgery so, if we go, we will drive to the beach on Wednesday. It all depends on how Geri feels next week. Have a great weekend.

Operation Day

Its 11:40am. Geri is still in pre-op waiting her turn. She is number 3 for the day and they have just taken No. 2 from pre-op so it will be 1:00pm before she goes to surgery. They have installed IV lines and an epidural line, the latter will remain in for a couple of days as long as she has the chest tubes. More later.

3:15pm Geri went to the operating theater at 2:40pm and will be there for about 2 hours. Will update after the surgery. The entourage is hanging out at the hospital after lunching in style on hot dogs from "The Varsity" (the infamous fast food joint near the hospital).

3.48pm Geri is still in surgery but the news is very good. Dr.O. (the leg surgeon) has just told us he had just looked at the sections from the lung and both areas are clear of cancer. The thoracic surgeon is still closing Geri up and will be out to tell us officially the results but Dr. O. knew we would be anxious. More later

Thursday's the day

I went for my pre-op testing today, and it was an all day affair. I got there at 10:30am and did not leave until 3:45pm -- and no time for lunch. As I learned when I had my leg surgery, there is a lot of sitting around and waiting with all this pre-admissions stuff. I was smarter this time and brought my laptop and got a lot of work done while I was just sitting around. Once I got to see a nurse all they did was ask a lot of questions, take a little blood and a chest x-ray. I got to forgo the EKG (after a lot of phone calls) because of one of the heart test I had a couple of weeks ago that included an EKG.

After that, I had to go to Dr. Miller's office (in the same building) and meet with Jim his Physician's Assistant, sign a lot of papers and go over the surgical procedure. While Jim acted as if the procedure was "run of the mill", I have to admit it is has me pretty scared. There is always one thing that throws me it seems, and this time it was the fact that I have to be in ICU at least the first night. I know it is good to know those folks will be watching me, but the seriousness of that kind of shook me up a little. They keep telling me it is "easier" than my leg surgery -- but I don't know if it is "easier" for the doctor to do, "easier" from a pain standpoint, or "easier" from an overall recovery standpoint (since I am still recovering from the leg surgery so I hope this one is better!). I think anything is "easier" as long as it is not happening to you!

Dr. Miller does not assign a surgical time till the day before surgery as things seem to change a lot. I am to call around 4pm tomorrow to find out when I need to be there. They told me if we did not connect to just be at the hospital at 5:45am. Of course I have an entourage coming for surgery -Bob, Cindy, Michael, Syd, Aunt Rhoda, Uncle Marvin and Cousin Gladys, but still I do not have a time to tell them to come. The procedure, a Thorocotomy, should take a couple of hours. I should be in a regular room on Friday. I don't know what the rules are about guests in ICU. I know last time after surgery they did let everyone come up for a little while once I had gotten into my room. Cindy was planning on staying all night with me, but I am not sure they will let her stay in ICU.

I have a few last minute work things I need to take care of tomorrow, as well as some personal stuff --including getting my nails done late in the day. No self-respecting princess checks into a hospital without first having a manicure and pedicure. Since I still have no hair (a little 5 o'clock shadow) I do not need to have that done now. Eyebrows and eyelashes are coming back like crazy -- and in the most inappropriate places!

I should be in the hospital till Tuesday or Wednesday. If I am out by Tues we have a flight on a private plane to take us to Destin on Tuesday night. If it is Wednesday, we either drive or stay home. We'll just have to take that one day at a time. I can't worry about that yet -- but I will go ahead and pack for the beach in case we need to make a quick get-away. I figure I am mostly just going to be lounging around so I will not need much in the way of fancy clothes -- gym shorts, sweats, and pjs.

Bob will blog with all the news as soon as he can on Thursday after surgery. We should know right away if any of the lesions are malignant or not, but will not know course of treatment till I meet with the oncologist (if they are malignant) in a couple of weeks. I am going with the plan that they are not right now. Then I will deal with whatever I have to in a couple of weeks.

Well it has been a long day --really a long week with everything I am trying to cram in. Maybe I will get some rest after surgery! Just as long as they keep the pain meds coming ahead of the pain.

Thanks again for all your prayers and good wishes! Have a great Thanksgiving!

Finally heard from the surgeon

Of course, just as I walked into an agent's office today, my phone rang and it was Dr. Miller (Doc M -the lung surgeon) who I have been waiting for a week to call me. He pretty much said the same thing that Dr. Saba said-- I could wait 3 months and do another scan, but the smart thing was to go ahead and take the lesions out and not take any chances. He did say he would be able to make a smaller incision than planned, but I am not sure why. He said he would take the lower one (easier to reach) out first biopsy it first, and if it was malignant he would make the incision bigger to get the upper one out -- which is more difficult. Regardless, he will take them both out, but I am not sure why the incision size changes.

He said the risk factor for the surgery itself was about 1%. Before he had told me he felt there was about a 95% chance that the lesions were cancer. When I repeated that today and asked if he felt the same, he indicated we still needed to be concerned, but since I had beem immuno-supressed from chemo, that it could be an infection or inflamation. So, I am a lot more hopeful that this is not cancer. At any rate, if it is, then the chemo has been effective since the lesions are smaller.

So we are going ahead with surgery on the 15th. He said I would be in the hospital 4 or 5 days. Again he said it would not be a problem for me to travel by car or plane (not me driving) to a nearby state even the day I left the hospital, but full recovery will not be for about 3 weeks. That gets me out of a lot of things --carrying suitcases, groceries, vaccuuming (not that I do a lot that mind you), maybe even laundry. That may be pushing it a bit!

Today was a good day. I left the house at 7am for work and did not get home till about 6:30. I am tired, but it was so good to be out visiting my agents. I have full days the rest of the week with local travel and am just waiting to see when I have a pre-op appointment next week to book those days. I have a whole lot of work that needs to be done by the 15th so I am a little panicked, but I think it will take my mind off things.

I don't expect much will change between now and surgery date so if I don't blog for a couple of days, don't worry. I expect between now and then my life will be pretty boring -- mostly work (but not boring to me), trying to get household things taken care of, and having a little fun. My friend Jill from Tn as well as sister-in-law Michelle and niece Elise may all be here Sunday night. I have my tennis team's "end of season" dinner tomorrow night and that is about it. I will surely blog before surgery, and I know Bob will take over and update you all after surgery for a couple of days till I am able!

It has been a long but fun day. I am going to check a few work emails and then just watch TV and crash early. I have a conference call at 7:30 am and then Nurse Kathy comes just after that is over. Have a good evening!

My choice

We met with Dr. Saba, my chemo doctor today. We still have not talked to the surgeon, Doc M. Dr. Saba said we could wait 3 months, have CT scans and see what the lesions do or go ahead and et them taken out. The only way we are going to know what is in my lungs is to have surgery and remove them. Whatever is there could be smaller because it is nothing, or it is the cancer that shrunk because of the chemo I just had. Bob and I discussed it and decided to go with the surgery. The tumor in my leg grew so fast, it scares me to let the unknown linger in my lungs. Also, I think I would just be a basket case for 3 months waiting to see the next scan. So unless Dr. Miller weighs in with something totally different, we will proceed with surgery Nov 15. It gives me time to heal during Thanksgiving, and I am anxious to get this overwith. Not sure about treatment after surgery. Dr. Saba said for me to come see him a week after surgery, and if it is cancer, we will discuss treatment then. I still feel really good about this. I either have nothing, or I have another cancer that responds to the chemo. It could be a whole lot worse.

Except for the outcome of the AL vs LSU game we had a good trip to Birmingham. I got to see some cousins, aunt and uncle in the afternoon, and all of Michael's family the rest of the time. It was a quick trip, but it was nice to see everyone and get out of town for a day. When Bob and I got back we went for a walk -- a little over 2 miles -- down by the river close to our house.

And now it is time to get some work done!

No news

I called Doc M's (lung surgeon) office this morning to find out when I might hear from him regarding the PET scan. His secretary told me she had printed it off and put it on his desk and she "hoped" he'd have time to come up (from surgery, I suppose) sometime today to review and call me. But it is 5:30 and I have not heard from him. I know he has surgery 4 days a week (all but Tues I think), and he did not get my report till late Wednesday. Hopefully I will get his interpretation early next week.

For this first time this year we are actually going out of town for a night. Tomorrow Bob and I are going to go to Birmingham to see Michael, Michelle and the kids just to get away for a night. It is an easy drive, and we will get their in time to watch the Alabama vs LSU game. No bit plans -- just a quick getaway before surgery.

So everything is pretty much status quo. I am working and getting out as much as I can, and that is about it. Have a good weekend. I will probably not blog this weekend unless I hear from Doc M --which I doubt at this point.

Good news -I think

While I have not talked to a doctor yet, I got a copy of the PET Scan report. There does not appear to be any cancer spread any where else in my body. The lesions in my lung have gotten SMALLER since the CT scan Oct 17. I am not sure what this means, but I know it is good news rather than bad. It was my leg surgeon who ordered and got the PET scan. My lung surgeon probably has not seen the report yet. I called his office late this afternoon to make sure he looked at the report in the Emory system and give me an interpretation. Obviously, this raises a lot of questions, but we are feeling a lot more positive about things than before. Again, thank you all so much for your prayers and good wishes. Things seem to be looking up!

I am out working and really enjoying myself. By the end of the day, I am pretty beat, but I still feel good. I still have Nurse Kathy here every Mon-Wed-Fri, but she thinks her visits could be ending soon as the wound is getting better every second. Soon I will just need to put some ointment and a bandaid on it, and I can be a lot more mobile.

I will keep you posted on things as I learn more!

Today's test are over

Today I had a lung function test and an echo stress test on my heart. These are both pre-screening tests for surgery, I guess. The lung test was a little weird. I sat in this enclosed booth type thing and either blew into or panted or sucked this hose thing. The tech would shout instructions to me. At one point I had to do the same thing all over again with my hands on my cheeks. She told me from this test they determine if I need any kind of treatment before surgery -- like antibiotics, an inhaler, or whatever. The other was a chemically induced echo stress test. So instead of making me run on a treadmill and looking at my heart they give you an IV drug that makes your heart race, and they look at that compared to the baseline (done before the drug). The was a doctor there -- a resident I think -- an he said he saw no blockages and my heart looked fine. Some other doc will review it again, but I am not expecting any surprises there thank goodness.

I still have no news on the PET scan. I did call the surgeon's office (lung) since they had not called me about a surgery date. The secretary told me she thought it was the 15th (Thurs) but they had not set it up yet. I assume that means they had not scheduled with the OR, anesthesia, etc. I am somewhat disappointed with that date since that is exactly one week before Thanksgiving. If I am in the hospital for 5 days, I would be getting out the day we were going to leave for Destin - Tuesday most likely. I don't think we will feel like going anywhere! Of course being a Brit, Thanksgiving is not a big holiday for Bob anyway. While I really wanted to have this a little earlier, it does give me more time to get healthier and get some things done. Maybe my leg wound -- which looks better every day -- will be healed by then too. And we will have a restfull Thanksgiving weekend to get better and may be able to get some work done the following week after the holiday. Not what I had planned, but things just change all the time. Heaven knows I am trying to learn to adapt and be more flexible.

Feeling good

First of all, many thanks to all of you who have been sending me emails (via the blog or otherwise), cards, phone calls etc. I am so lucky to have all of you supporting me with love prayers and good wishes. I am truly overwhelmed by how incredible you all are.

I just wanted to let you know, in spite of it all, I feel pretty good. I walked 1.5 miles this afternoon, which is about twice what I have even attempted before today. I really had no trouble. Of course I rested for about 20 minutes afterward, but went on to do a little shopping not long after. Bob and I went to a movie (Michael Clayton -- it was good -- how could it not be with George Clooney) Sat night, after sitting for about 3 hours to watch my team in a play-off tennis match. It was the first movie we've gone to in 2007.

No news on Friday's PET scan. Monday morning I have 2 pre-surgery screening tests on heart and lungs. Hopefully, I will get a surgery date tomorrow. Till then we will just keep on with work, doctor appmts, social activities etc. As always, we will keep you posted!

Not what I wanted to hear

Well it is not pneumonia. When I asked the doctor, (now know as Doc M) "Is there any chance this is something other than cancer?" he told me there is about a 5% chance it is something else. Since the %'s don't seem to go my way, I did not even ask what the "something else" would be.



With my history, it is likely sarcoma that has moved from my leg to my lung. That is where sarcoma goes. In fact, he said if it is sarcoma, I could have this surgery 4 or 5 times in my life time as the tumors seem to pop up every now and then and you go in and take them out. More about the surgery later. However, there is a possibility that it is a primary new lung cancer. About 8% of women in my age group, who have never smoked, still get lung cancer. It is even possible that one leision is lung cancer and the other sarcoma. If either is lung cancer, they will remove lymph nodes to see if it spread. They do not do that with sarcoma, as it does not spread to the lymph system. We will know during surgery what kind of cancer it is as they will do a frozen section then and there.



Before surgery I have to have two tests --one on my heart and the other on my lung capacity. I guess they are a type of screening test prior to surgery --probably next Monday. Of course I am having the PET scan on Thursday. Doc M is booked for the next 3 weeks so I will not be able to have surgery before then unless somebody cancels. The surgery is a little different than I expected. They will cut(I thought is might be done laproscopically -have no idea how to spell that) me open about where my bra is on the side and about 5 inches or so. I will be in the hospital about 5 days. He said recovery is 3 to 4 weeks. Later I stopped him in the hall to get more info on recovery. I described my job, and he said I would feel like working 3 or 4 hours per day, from my house, even the day I got home. He discussed no heavy lifting etc., and driving, probably after a couple of weeks,(I assume depends on how much pain medicine I am own). I asked him could I go to either Birmingham or Destin for Thanksgiving, and he said "sure". I am guessing the surgery would be a week or two before then. He said I possibly could even go to England at Christmas--if I felt like it. I will be plenty sore from them spreading my ribs apart. His perspective of travel and healing time was based on surgery alone-not any after treatment. The chemo Doctor (Dr. Saba) will decide what happens next and when. For sure, if it is a new cancer and in the lymph system, there will be more chemo. If they are both sarcoma, they could just watch it and do CT scans every 3 months (which they will do for sure) and do chemo or not. I will see Dr. Saba on Nov 5 for an appmt we had set up previously anyway. I thought my cell type, pleomorphic, was the most aggressive type of sarcoma, and I was glad to hear from Doc M that it is moderate. Now what that means for treatment of this cancer, I do not know. Everything is really up in the air.

Knowing that is it is not pneumonia does go ahead and resolve some issues. I won't stay awake nights with false hope any more. I know it is cancer; I just don't know what kind. Of course now I am worried about the PET scan and fear that every area of my body will light up indicating cancer. At least from that we will know what all we are dealing with and how to tackle it.

There are a couple of good things about surgery being 3 weeks away. I can get my leg closer to being healed by then. It gives me 3 weeks to take care of some things around the house and work that I really want to handle. And likely it will give me some almost "normal" days before I start healing from something else. The bad thing is that I have to wait that much longer before I know when I am dealing with, AND I have to buy candy and open the door on Halloween! I am not a Halloween fan. I was never good at coming up with ideas for Halloween costumes. I don't like costume parties either. I really thought I would be having surgery then and miss the whole thing!

How am I handling this? Some minutes are really bad, and others I just try to perservere and figure out what to do next. Bob is very calm, logical and just takes things as they come. That keeps me a little more calm too. I don't know that he is really that way inside, but that is what I see and it has always been this way. In the meantime, I am going to just keep doing what I do -- work, hangout with Bob and friends and go on with my life. I will do my best to take things as they come and not play the "what if" game. It is hard but it is all I can do.

In the meantime, my tennis team won their division and playoffs start Saturday. I will be down at our courts to cheer them on. I am on the road working tomorrow and will be out alot next week, locally. I have not scheduled appointments for then as I won't know till Thursday when my heart and lung tests will be. I will be able to work on that Friday.

So it looks like the blog goes on. I will be okay but it looks like my road to recovery is a little longer than I expected. I feel like I am running a race, and they keep moving the finish line. At least I am still in the race!

Back to work - sort of

I got to go and and see some real live insurance agents (which is what I do every day when life is normal) today. I realize this may not be the most exciting thing to some of you, but I assure you it was to me! While I only had 2 appointments, I drove probably 100 miles round trip and it was a full day. I even got my car serviced after work and then picked up take-out Italian food for dinner. When I got home, Bob was defrosting our extra freezer located in the garage. Thank goodness for him. I think if it were up to me I would have just bought a new freezer to keep from having to do that. I keep telling him we need new ovens because there is something wrong with the self cleaning part. Seems to me it would be easier to buy a new one than clean the old one! I think Bob will probably just fix it and then I have no excuse.

I got a little work done tonight -- just some follow up to my meetings today. It is after 9:30pm and I have not stopped all day. Needless to say, I am beat. I do have an appmt Thurs at 12:45 to get the PET scan which is good. Tomorrow at 2pm we meet with the surgeon to find out what is next. Wednesday I am back at work to see a couple of agents, and we will see what Friday brings. I hope a biopsy so we can get moving on this!

Oh- Nurse Kathy came today. She said it was possible my wound would close up by the end of next week. Then all I have to do is put some kind of cream and a bandage on it -- nothing on the inside of it-- no drainage-- and I may be able to do it myself. That would be great so Bob does not have to be around every time I take a shower. As it is now, if I shower, he has to change the dressing. It has to be changed for drainage at least once a day anyway, but we have to time it for when he is around--or like last week, if I go somewhere overnight for work he has to go too. It was easy to convince him to go to with me to Dunwoody (for non Atlanta folks Dunwoody is a nice suburb of Atlanta), just 8 miles away to a nice hotel. I am not sure he is up for the Hampton Inn is Thomasville 5 hours away! So when we get pass this biopsy and whatever goes with it, he may have a little freedom!

weekend

Except for the lovely dinner that Mitzi, Susan and Rita took me out for tonight, Sunday, it was a pretty uneventful weekend. I watched Bob's tennis match on Saturday - he says he came in second- and ran a few errands. I cannot believe I did not watch the Alabama game. I decided they do better when I don't watch, and boy was I right. I, was however, on the phone getting scores about every 3 minutes.

I spent all day today-- and I mean all day working. I had to do planning for 2008 and it took me from 9:30 to 5:30. I stopped for about 30 minutes when friend Lisa came by for a visit. Bob had to help me with some excel formulas (again thank goodness for Bob and his many talents!). He finished that part while I was out to dinner. I could not even look at the number again without my eyes glazing over. So I will look tomorrow and see if there are any bad errors that jump out at me and then I will turn them in. This is pretty much the only part of work I don't like, but you gotta do it.

I am working Monday and Wednesday out calling on agents. Tuesday is the appmt with the surgeon, and I guess he will schedule the biopsy then. I am ready to get it over.

A bad night but much better now

I don't think I have used these words but I hope I have expressed the sentiment. Sisters are angels... they are nurturing, suppportive, loving, hand holding, etc. Brothers are God sends (all this includes in laws too!). I know you have all read how incredible all my relatives have been. This place has been like a hotel with relatives and friends coming to kick in and take care of me, and I know how lucky I am. While brothers are generally not warm and fuzzy like sisters, they have their own way of showing love and support, and often in a "take charge" attitude. Don't misunderstand, sisters, epecially mine, have that "take charge" attitude too. This may be just my way of saying that Rosemores (my maiden name) in general are control freaks. Anyway, today brother Michael (who is a family practice Doc) had a long talk with Doc O. After their conversation I do feel like both are really watching out for me and making sure I have the best medical care out there. Doc O said he really did feel like one of my leisions was probably pneumonia. The other was iffy. If you recall, Doc O is my leg surgeon who has now referred me to Dr. Miller, the lung surgeon. Doc O also told Michael that he had breakfast with Dr. Miller today. In fact, he returned a call to Michael shortly their after. It looks like when they do the biopsy they won't just take a portion of the leisions out but will remove them totally so they do not have to go back in. Also the procedure, while no picnic, will not be as bad as I thought. I was equating the chest tube with Cindy's experience which was absolutely horrible. She had the tube in (actually 3 tubes) for weeks and had a lot of infection and drainage. Mine will only be in to re-inflate my lungs, and I should be in the hospital and tubeless, only a couple of days. Doc O also said it was possible I would not have more chemo since I had just had 2 more rounds. They would just take out the leisions, and come up with a plan. They had further discussion about my treatment, with Michael sharing some ideas, and he came away feel that Doc O was going to make sure his sister had good and expedient care.

Needless to say, I am feeling a whole lot better. I did not sleep very well last night, but tonight I will rest a whole lot easier. It is still pretty upsetting but I now know it may not be as bad as I think, and there are a lot of people, in and out of the medical community really looking out for me.

I went to the office for about 5 hours today. I was pretty tired after not sleeping, but I could not just lay around here. Plus, thank goodness, I have work to do. I was able to get a bunch of stuff I need to work on at home tomorrow and maybe have some agency appointments next week. Of course I see Dr. Miller on Tuesday, and I hope he will be able to schedule my biopsy for some time next week--or at the latest, early the following week. But I should have Monday and Wednesday wide open.

I mainly wanted to let you know that I am feeling better and more positive than I was yesterday. I have heard from so many of you today, and I know I am in all of your thoughts and prayers, and I am so appreciative.

Not what I'd hoped

While my leg wound continues to heal nicely, my CT scan showed two nodules on my right lung. There is a chance that this is pneumonia, but there also is a chance that the sarcoma spread to my right lung --but in only one or two spots -- and all in the right lung. That is a good thing as they will only have to biopsy one lung, and it is not the side my heart is on. The last time I had a CT of my chest was about August 18, right before I started chemo. All was clear then. That is why Doc O thinks it could be pneumonia, as that is awfully quick for it to have spread. He asked if I'd had fever, cough etc. I do remember for several days taking even a shallow breath and my chest hurting(pneumonia maybe). I know it was at least 3 weeks after surgery (July 16) but I don't know if it was after Aug 18 -- the last CT scan that was clear. Anyway, I had a cough for a while that sometime felt like sinus drainage, and sometime it felt like more than that-- maybe pneumonia I hope. And of course I ran fever, high fever, after both chemo sessions.

I am to see a Thoraxic (sure if that is spelled right ---a lunch doctor ) surgeon on Tuesday afternoon. Most likely he will order a whole body PET Scan (like a CT scan but all this red shows up if there is cancer). Whether there is red or not, he will also set up a time to biopsy the spots on my lung. Unfortunately this is more of an ordeal that when they just stuck a needle in my leg and biopsied that. It is a surgical proceedure. Brother-in-law Eric is a Profusionist, and while the only thing I know about his job is that he runs the heart-lung machine during open heart surgery. Evidently he also does a lot of stuff during all sorts of lung surgeries too and was able to tell me the procedure for a lung biopsy. They will go into my lung via my side, using a CT scan type machine to guide the way. In order to cut out the nodule, or a portion, they have to deflate my lung first. They biopsy the nodules and then they inflate the lung. I will have a chest tube for a couple of days, which means I will be in the hospital for a couple of days. Sister Cindy had a chest tube for an infection several years ago, and it was not a pleasant thing. However, she was in for a long period of time. Doc O says the procedure will be a lot easier on me than the surgery I had on my leg, so that is making me feel better. Hopefully, if they find it to be pneumonia, then I have a little recovery and I can get on with life. If it is sarcoma, I am not sure if they will do more chemo, radiation or what. I guess I will find some of that out on Tuesday -- maybe. I hope they will schedule things quickly so we can get whatever I need to do going.

In the meantime, I have been feeling really good so it is hard to believe there is anything else wrong with me. I was at my work meeting yesterday and today. My first act of being back at work was to have a facial. Actually we took most all the meeting attendees to a spa yesterday for the treatment of their choice. We got to have a treatment too. I was a little freaked out when the woman giving me my facial started messing with my eyebrows. I was scared they'd fall out, but I figured if they were going to do that, they would no matter what she did. The facial was great and whatever she did to my eyebrows, they look much better. I had a short meeting that afternoon, and then we took all the meeting attendees out to dinner, which was really good. We were all staying at a hotel, and a few of us went into the bar until just before 10pm. Bob came over to the hotel about 9pm, as he had to stay with me so he could bandage my wound this morning. I had breakfast and a meeting till about 11:30 this morning and then Bob and I left for
my doctor's appointment. It was a great couple of days. I got to see people I had not seen in a while, and it felt so normal (except my wig!). I had good, long days and was not really that tired. I feel too good to be sick!

I am pretty freaked out about this lung thing and have had my crying spells off and on all afternoon. I had planned to go into the office tomorrow and plan some agency visits next week. I am tired of being at home and being sick, especially since right now I do not feel sick. So I've decided to proceed as planned. I am going to the office tomorrow and will work at home Friday, scheduling some appointsments for next week. If I find they want to do some of the procedures next week, then I will cancel the appointment. In the meantime, I have to get on with things. I can't have a "wait and see" attitude. What am I going to do if I just hang around here till the biopsy or PET scan? So today is my "pity party" day and tomorrow I get on with life until something stops me. Gosh -- I hope I can live up to it. But as I have been saying a lot lately (I heard it somewhere -- not my quote) "Hope is not a plan." So I have to make my own plan.

You know, if I had a good report, I think I was going to end the blog today. As it stands now, you are stuck with me blogging at least through this next roadbump. Maybe it won't be a big one. Please keep me in your prayers.

Doing great!

I had an amazingly great weekend. All of the sudden on Friday, a ton of energy kicked in. I practiced going out to dinner this week (actually went out 3 times) to see if I could really sit for a couple of hours and make it through a business dinner I have on Tuesday night. Also I really tried to string more than 3 hours together without falling on my face for 4 more. Saturday I was like a mad woman. I started about 9:45am watching a tennis match in the neighborhood and then ran errands for a few of hours. While I was in and out of the house I really did not stop until 3:30 to watch the end of the Alabama game with Bob. About 4:30 I "rested" for about an hour but did not really nap. After that I was showering getting dressed, as our friends Debbie and Joe, Susan and Karl were coming over for a drink first, and we were all going out to dinner. Susan and Karl were actually staying at our house Fri and Sat as they were having some work done on theirs so we went out to dinner Friday night too. Both nights we did not get back home until after 10pm. I was pretty tired, but I had basically been going all day so it was great.

The next morning Susan and I went for a walk and we may have walked about 1/2 mile (at the most). I had actually gone up and down our steps 4 times (round trip) before the walk-- using different feet. Okay --it was really my same old feet, but instead of always using my right foot to lead going down each step and the left one going up, I alternated feel on each step. I had not been able to do that since surgery. I did have to really use the banister to transfer some weight as I cannot put all my weight on my right foot, but I was able to do it.

However, I cannot tie my right shoe. Because of the surgery and them cutting a lot of my hamstring I guess, I cannot lift that foot very high and I cannot bend over enough to reach my foot. So, thank goodness for Bob, he has to tie my shoes on that foot. Since we are still trying to heal my wound, I don't think I am supposed to be trying to stretch to increase my flexibility to fix that just yet. Ihear there are some New Balance mules I need to get that don't require tying and are good to walk in. I see the surgeon on Wednesday so I am guessing we may talk about some physical therapy that day. I am trying not to think about the visit and especially the CT scans that go along with it that day. It will be soon enough and we will see how I get though the first round (of about 10 years of scans) soon enough! If all goes well, then Bob and I will hopefully be able to start making plans to visit his family in England during Christmas.

My sister-in-law Michelle (Michael's wife), her daughter Elise and her Mom Peggy, all came to visit and stayed here last night. It was fun having them here, and I actually cooked dinner for everyone -- Bob grilled the fish and was in charge of dishes! Anyway, I was able to do a lot more than I expected. I was pretty wiped out about 9:15 so all the girls just ended up in our bedroom talking till almost 11. So I have been able to string a few days of long hours together and managed so far. I am tired by the end of the evening but just about anyone would be. I feel like I am making some progress here. My biggest challenge now, if CT scans go well, it to just get this wound healed. It is mostly out of my control (except eating right and taking the Vit C and Zinc) but even though I have no wound vac, Bob still has to change my bandaging every to 12 to 24 hours. That makes traveling for work overnight almost impossible. We've got one night away this week but it is only 20 minutes away. I don't think I can take him to South Ga for 3 nights. I know this is a temporary setback and am hoping it will all be over in 2 to 3 weeks. But we are making progress!

Just a quick update

Wound vac is gone for good. Now I just have this gel pack stuff in the wound that drains a lot and starts smelling and so Bob has to change the bandaging a couple of times a day. Nurse Kathy says on Friday (she forgot to do it today) she is going to put this calcium thing in their that absorbs some of the drainage and odor so that will make this more tolerable. The gel stings for about the first hour but it is soooo much better than the wound vac. Hopefully in a couple of weeks this thing will be healed and maybe it will just need a bandaid or something. I am getting there slowly but surely!

Not much new

The wound vac is not bothering me as much today as yesterday. It still aches and is incredibly annoying to have to plug and unplug every time you move. I was a little more tired today than I have been, but having to adjust to the wound vac may have just kept me awake more during the night. I worked most of the day on the computer and phone, and did not even get cleaned up (can't shower till tomorrow before Nurse Kathy comes because of the wound vac) until about 3. Once I got up and dressed I did feel better.

I was even going to go to Publix to get something for dinner but as soon as I got in the car the sky openned up and it was just pouring. I tried to wait in out in the Publix parking lot but after about 30 minutes I went home. We will have something out of the freezer tonight!

To me there is not a lot of drainage in the wound vac so I really hope she will take it off tomorrow or Friday. It only weighs about 5 pounds but it is a pain to deal with. The noise is not bad at all anymore but just lugging it around is cumbersome, and you have to make sure the tubing is not caught on anything. I am not good about watching where I am going anyway, so that makes it all the worse. At least now it does not hurt as much.

The last few days

The weekend was nice, and was able to get out a little. We had no luck finding scarves that were sort of pre-cut for tying. I am going to have to go to the Women's Center at Northside Hospital to find what I am looking for and I will do that the next time I am in the office. I was hoping that would be tomorrow but now that I have the wound vac back, it won't been. I don't remember it being this uncomfortable before. Either I was dulled by pain meds (I took more then) or I am just not used to it yet. Nurse Kathy put it back on today. The sponge she used to put inside the wound was no bigger than a quarter. She said in the beginning she could put her whole fist there, so I am healing. Some really good news - she said if it did not drain much by Wednesday she was taking me off the wound vac. So far it does not look like much drainage to me. But you know my luck-----I am guessing I will have it a week or so, but gosh it would be great to be wrong. While I can't say I am in a great deal of pain, I am just not comfortable and it aches. I was able to work today from bed, but it was harder to concentrate on more difficult tasks. I did bump up the pain meds the first part of the day. I am keeping my fingers crossed for Wednesday.

We see Doc O (the surgeon) Wed., Oct 17, and I have the first of my "every three month" scans. I have to admit I am pretty nervous about that. I have a work thing to do that night before that should be fun (if I am wound vac free) so that will help keep my mind off things I hope.

After a fun visit, imo left on Saturday early in the morning on her way to Virginia. She will be back here spending the night Sunday I think. Syd and Zola came on Sat, and we ran a couple of errands and went to lunch. We were out for 2 hours and I crashed for 4 after. I did rally to cook dinner, which I have done the last few nights. Slowly I am trying to take back some of the house responsibilities from Bob. I don't know if I mentioned this, but for my birthday, Bob is rebuilding my pantry so that it is all slide out drawers/shelves instead of just plain ole stationary shelves. I have been wanting this for a while. So while I was out watching my tennis team play Sunday he was emptying out our pantry and cleaning it out. Guess I have not taken back all the house management stuff. I am not real sorry I missed that part. But I will be putting the stuff away.

The general concensus is that we keep blogging for a while -- at least till scans next week. But when all I have to say is "I went to work, came home, cooked dinner" that is probably when it should end. I can't wait to have many, many days like that. Not that I don't like blogging. I just can't wait for normal days!

Good day, tired day

I had a great, although rather short, day back a work yesterday. It was wonderful to see everyone and get back into the spirit of things. While I did not accomplish much, I feel like I have a starting place at least and hope to be there a few times at least next week, wound vac permitting.

After I left there I did stop to get my new slacks hemmed. The alterations place was a dry cleaner and the changing area was incredibly hot. Every time I would shut the door (it was there bathroom) I would rip my wig off and put some cold water on my head, change slacks, put the wig back on and get pinned. Today I am going to look for some more scarfs as an alternative to the wig. There are some days it will just not work!

By the time I got home it was 2pm and I had been on the go since about 8:30. I was so shocked at how exhausted I was. I got in the bed and did not get out till 6pm. I did not sleep, but I did not move much except to work on email. I was really upset at how tired I was. I thought I was tougher than that. Then I realized this is only week 2 after chemo. It ususally takes me till Saturday or Sunday to feel good enough to be on the move so I was really doing much better, and sooner. But I have to admit it -- I did overdo it. I will take it easy today.

Nurse Kathy gave me a belated birthday present -- I don't have to get the wound vac back till Monday. With the PICC line out and now healed (I was having to keep it dry in the shower with plastic wrap till today) and no wound vac, I can take a shower without fear of getting anything wet Sat and Sun! What a freedom that is! Imo is here visiting till Saturday, and she is going to take me to get scarves later today. I will do a little work first and then we will venture out during lunch. I will take things slower today for sure.

Syd and Zola are coming for the day tomorrow, and I will go watch my tennis team play on Sunday. That is it for the weekend. Wound vac back on Monday, and I will have to start seeing how I can plan that and it's battery pack into my work week. Enjoy your weekend! I will.

Where do I go from here?

What a liberating day! I am finally feeling like I can really celebrate the end of chemo. I went to the oncologist today and my counts were great. I do not see him for four weeks. I have no restrictions for the most part. I have not been able to do things at will like see the dentist, have a facial, anything invasive that could cause an infection. Today I asked could I do things like have a mole removed, botox (just thought I'd asked), travel outside the country. He told me just to wait a couple of weeks on the invasive stuff but basically I could do whatever I want to do. They took out the PICC line! I have a bandage on it that needs to keep dry for a couple of days since there were 2 stictches holding it in, but they said I could shower and just rebandage.

Bob and I went out to lunch in a real sit down place (not fast food) which is only the second time he and I have eaten out in 8 months. Then I did what all real women do when they feel good (or bad)....I went shopping. I forgot to mention the one sort of bad thing; the wound vac will be back Friday. It is not all bad because I hate the draining this other thing is causing and Bob has to rebandage my wound sometimes twice a day. The tape is killing my skin so it is not fun. Also the wound vac will heal me much faster. Back to the shopping............ I realized I have no slacks, jeans or anything like that to wear since my sizes have changed so dramatically. The wound vac does not really allow me to wear or try on pants because of how it is located so I have only been able to buy skirts or dresses. So I figured it was now or never -- or after all the good stuff was picked over! So I drove myself (!) over to my friendly neighborhood boutique Rita Ellen's (she is going to owe me for all this free advertising) and got a couple of pairs of jeans and slacks. Now somehow I need to get to an alterations person tomorrow to get the hemmed. Otherwise I can't do that till after the wound vac is gone and I will be ready to wear them.

I was only gone about an hour or so but since we'd be at the doctors all morning it was about 2pm, and I had been up all day. I rested a couple of hours and did work email etc and at 5pm I went to Publix and came home and did a load of laundry. While I am really tired, it feels really good.

And for the main event, I am going to go into the office for about 3 hours tomorrow if I can last that long. I just can't wait. I am not sure how I am going to handle the wound vac, but if all goes well I am going to try to get out next week and see some agents and do my job like I normally do. I will not be able to be gone more than 4 hours or so at a time as the wound vac is electric and the battery pac lasts only so long. I should be able do some local travel. Guess I can take the charger with me in case of an emergency, but I just would not want to walk in a customer's office and plug in!

So now the real question is "When does this blog end?" You all have gotten me through the roughest 8 months of my life, and I am so appreciative. At some point, really soon I hope, I am just going to be having a normal life and I can't imagine anyone would want to read about my day to day activities! I cannot wait to get to that point. Bob thinks I should continue till the wound vac goes, but entries my not be quite as often. "Life with Geri and Bob" is just not that exciting (while we can't wait to get back to it) and I am sure you all have better things to do with your time! I am so happy you let me share this tough part of my life with you. Hopefully all will be well soon and Geri's Journal will end but a great new journey will begin. In the meantime, I 'll just keep posting if you keep reading.

How I spent my weekend -- and Bob's

Well, I spent most of Friday leaving messages for my doctor. My fever had gotten pretty high, 104.1 in the wee hours of Friday am. I left a message early for the doc like 830 am. Then it broke down to 99.7 before he called me back. Then it went back up in the high 103.2 etc. By the time they called me, (the nurse Joan) at 5:15 on Friday and she said "You are not going to like this. He wants you to go to the ER." I just pitched a fit. I told her "that was not our deal. He said he would direct admit me". And by then my fever was in the 101+ range.
She called back to say I did not have to go to the ER but I had to go to Emory's chemo center (it is open on the weekend) to get anti-biotics on both Sat and Sun at 8am.
So that is what we did. Fortunately the drugs only run an hour and a half so we were home by 11:30 each day. It still made for a long day.

I watched most of the Bama game (diaster) Sat evening and was saved by
Susan who brought over dinner and a movie. Georgia Rule was a lot heavier than I thought it was going to be for sure. On Sunday when I walked out of the hospital I felt great and thought I could go watch my team play tennis. Not a chance! I got home and crashed for about 3 hours and getting up and down the stairs was hard.

I keep forgetting that even though last week was my bad week after chemo, it takes most of this week for me to even feel like moving again. So I am still really tired, little fever etc. It will be close to the weekend before I can do much. But then it is all over!

I was really disappointed when Nurse Kathy came. She measured the wound and there was not much change in some areas. You can tell that the month before chemo it healed much faster and chemo slowed it down significantly. This week will be 2 months since I got the wound vac and I thought we'd be done by now. I do not want to be doing this in 2 more months! I'll be darned if I am going to Destin for Thanksgiving with a wound vac or a hole in my leg. It is time for this thing to get on the stick and get healed! And I want some hair back too!

So I go to the doctor Wednesday, and if I do not need fluid or blood or anything else I will be able to get the PICC line out. One more small step closer to freedom and a normal life! Patience was never my strong suite!

Just having one is good enough for me

Believe me, I am not hung up on having a birthday and spending the day feeling awful, getting blood and IV antibiotics. Anytime I get to have a birthday, it is a good one.....just some are a bit more fun than others. They did not admit me so I got to go home late yesterday.
My temp is up and down today --as high as 104.1 and as low as 99.7. Last time I took it it was 103.2 and I left thr Doc a message. HAve not heard back. I just drank some water to I will check it again in a few minutes. This time I am hopeful if I can stay out of the hospital tonight I think I may be home free. Bob and I both have been pretty paranoid so anytime one of us wakes up in the night I take my temperature. At 4am when it was 104.1 there was no way I was going anywhere or calling anybody. At 730 it had come down in the 102 or so which is more reasonable. Just checked it again and now it 102.5 so hopefully the way it is moving around that will be enough to keep me home tonight and out of Crawford Long.


Each day will get better from here. I see the Doc on Wednesday, and assuming all goes well (no reason why it shouldn't based on history) I should get my PICC like out! Nurse Kathy says we will have to see how much drainage I am producing to see what to do about the wound vac. I am Vac-less again this weekend. She thinks I could need it again for a week but that may be it. I am going to quit trying to second guess and negotiate around this. It just does no good and is waste of time. If Bob reads this he will never believe it. Negotiation just does not work (well) in medicine -- no sales involved--so I need to learn, "It is what it is". We'll see if I can do it!

No weekend plans of course. Bob plays tennis Sat morning for a couple hours.
AL vs FSU comes on sometime and I want to rent a movie -- which I never do. Georgia Rule if we can get it. And that is about it. New temp 101.9 and I am sweating now especially my little bald head. That is good. Maybe fever is breaking. Doc has still not called back so maybe he is fine with the numbers.

Still on hold

While my fever was only 99.5 when I got to the Dr it was on the rise and up to about 100 now. If it goes to 100.5 and sustains and hour or goes to 101 then I go to the hospital. The doc is going to do everything he can to direct admit and not send me to ER but we will see. My white count was the lowest it has been at .4. I need blood and will get two units tomorrow so that will help. I have had a great week but I know the next few days are always my bad days. When I got out of the shower this morning I had absolutely no energy and had to lie down for about an hour before we left to go to the doc. On a good note, Nurse Kathy left the wound vac off again till at least Monday. She says if there is not alot of drainage she is going to recommend to Doc O that we leave it off altogether! Yea.

The dress ....it looked much better than it did 8+ years ago. However, it is not a "magic" dress and I think it looked a little dowdy -- probably did then too. So it goes in the give away stack (cocktail dress with sparkly things and jacket, lavendar, size 12 - any takers?) Time for me to get a new one if the occasion arises.

Really tired today so I will sign off now.

A human time bomb

A human time bomb is what I feel I am right now. However, I feel fine. Today is the day my fever usually goes up and if I can keep it under 100.5 and my white count is ok tomorrow I can stay out of the hospital. All day long my fever was way below normal in the 98.2 range. About 4pm it got to 98.6 (normal) and now at 5:18 it is 99.2 -- still nothing much but rising for no reason I can determine. I feel fine--been working most of the day. I had IV fluids for way too long this afternoon, but I know I still need to drink more. They really don't want you to use fever reducing products (much) because that becomes an artificial measurement and they can't tell if you are really sick. However, I did take one pill with some Tylenol in it (the fluids always give me a headache) so the 99.2 may be slightly low. I hate being this paranoind when I feel fine but this chemo does strange things to your body.

Just know this - when I ended up in the hospital last time for 5 days I told the internist that I had one chemo treatment left. I asked him if I should even consider not taking it knowing that again I could end up in the hospital and maybe it was just too much for my body. He rephrased my question and said "You are asking me what kind of hit did your body take as a result of your last chemo treatment? None at all." Even though I was there for 5 days it was preventative because my white count was low and I had fever. When he first came into my room the first day, he ask why I was in the hospital and I told him "I had no idea? " I felt fine. Now after being there a few days with them waking you up all night, wound vac on one side, IV on the other, you start feeling a little sicker! I tell you this just as a precaution. If I do end up back in the hospital again, it can be as a preventative measure. I am feeling a little optimistic still because I have been taking antibiotics, so I am hopeful my fever will stop rising and the white count will be acceptable. I am still tired but heck I am always tired! More than anything I am sick of being in this bed, and I am so close to a clean get-away I can almost taste it!

We have Nurse Kathy coming at 7am and with a little luck I'll have a few more days without the wound vac. I surely don't want to be in hospital again with the wound vac. In fact, she always checks my temperature so I think if I have more than the magical number 100.5 I will have to just talk her our of the wound vac if she is so inclined. She is a reasonable person. None-the-less, I will pack an overnight bag just in case. At least this time I would be a "direct admit" to the hospital and not have to go to the ER. That is huge and certainly the worse part of the whole deal.

I have been hybernating for a week now and staying away from just about everybody but Syd, Mitzi and Bob. All of them (except Bob) sat in a chair on the other side of the room -- and Syd even wore a mask since she is a Guidance Counselor in an elementary school and around snotty nosed kids all days. Cindy was coming today but she's been running fever too. She has been such a trooper -- been here for every "week after chemo" and surgery and it is killing her to not be here now. She just went to have blood work to see if she has an infection, so I know she is still going to try to come if she does not, but she does not need to do so. Last timeI had a little hair and she was great getting me shampooed and cleaned up in the hospital everyday among other things. With her there the nurses did not really bother ,so it was important. Good thing I have no hair and can just run a washcloth over my head with a slight amount of shampoo. I will miss her company but it is just not good for her to be here if she has something.

So on a good note, I am dreaming of next week. I start feeling better, can get out more, drive a little -- maybe even get my nails done. And hopefully it only gets better from there. This morning when I could not sleep I started planning all the things I was going to pack up to move partially back into my office (cube) at work. I will probably work out of both places -- home, office and when I am really rolling, 90% in my car. Also I had decided at this morning, I was going to try on old clothes today-- particularly this one dress I wore to a party my family gave Bob and me in Birmingham after we got married. I loved the dress, but it could have looked better. I weighed a good bit more then so it has to look great now. Amazing I have an 8 1/2 year old dress I still like, but by gosh I am going to find some dressy party to wear it too just cuz I can --even if I give it myself. Now, if I have to alter it much--all bets are off. It is time for a new wardrobe anyway. By the way, I have some pretty nice stuff that is too big now that I need to give away. So if you are looking for some slightly used new digs, call me. It is closet cleaning time! In fact, I am going to go try that dress on right now!

Quick update

Felt pretty good today. While I did not move around a lot -- up and down the stairs 4 times or so, I did work most of the day which felt great and like I was accomplishing something. Amazing how a few phone calls and emails can fill your day. Thank goodness as it kept me for being really bored and I got a lot of stuff done even though I am light-years behind. Funny thing, thanks to many of you (and some amazing new products my company has) I am on goal for work for the year. I can't wait till I can get out of bed and see folks face to face.

I noticed a couple of eyelashes on my cheek this morning and I think the bottom ones are thinning out. I had hoped to skip that this time around. Drat!

Nurse Kathy came today and I have at least till Wednesday without the wound vac. She said there was about a 50/50 chance I may not have to use it again but somehow I doubt it. While it is getting smaller it is still about 3 cm wide so I am not optomistic. We had a heck of a time with the IV pump this weekend and it took 3.45 hours to pump 2 hours worth of fluid on Sunday. I just about went stir crazy lying here although Syd reminding me I would just be lying here anyway. Thanks Syd! I did not have to have fluids today but will tomorrow and hopefully that will be it.

I actually cooked dinner last night and was on my feet for over an hour straight. That was really big for me.

Now I am just focusing on not running fever this week and trying to stay our of Crawford Long!
Keep your fingers crossed!

Hey -- I just realized that other than the pain pill I took before nurse Kathy came, I have not had one all day!

At least there is football

I am bored out of my mind, but too tired to do anything -- same ole story. At least there is AL vs GA tonight but I am pretty sure my heart cannot take it if it is like last week's AL vs Arkansas.

I am getting pretty sick of the cooking channels and HGTV. Syd and I played Backgammon yesterday, after Gloria re-introduced me to it one night this week. I could get hooked on it again like I did years ago. I am going to try to get Bob to play today or try to play with Syd again over the internet. What an incredible thing that you can do that! I do not want to play with folks I don't know (via internet). I am not sure why. Once I get my game back I may change my mind. I have a fear of becoming a Backgammon internet junkie, and it is a little too late in my recovery to do that. That should have been four months ago! I've got to get back to work. I am finally realizing I am not going to be able to hit the ground running full force. I thought I could be ready to travel for a few days to So GA the third week in Oct but I see now that is a bit optomistic. I should be able to do some half days I hope for a couple of weeks first. Of course I need to master taking a shower without being out of breath first I think. I am not even sure the wound vac will be gone by then -- heaven help me. It is gone for the weekend however! I am hoping if I do not have fever when I go to the Dr on Wednesday and my numbers are good they will pull this PICC line out for good. They will not do that till they are sure they do not have to admit me to the hospital. I am hoping the antibiotics I am taking now, and avoiding going out will take care of that.

Probably no more blogging this weekend. Nothing new to say. Have a good one.

Finally

Well my last day of chemo came and went without a lot of hoopla. I felt pretty yucky most of the day so I was not really in a celibratory mood. I did order breakfast in for all the chemo and radiation staff as a thank you. They gave me this yellow smiley face sheet they'd all signed with nice encouraging words which was very sweet. But so far, it was just another day. I know when I feel better after the next week, I will recognize the enormous milestone I've just passed and be putting on my dancing shoes!

I have a weekend without the wound vac. That slough stuff is thinning out as it was supposed to with the gel pack Nurse Kathy put in, so she is leaving it in for a few more days. The only thing is when that gel goes in initially it stings for a while, but it is still better than a vaccuum and electric cord. Still,, when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I start looking for all the tubes and appliances I have to take with me. None for a few days anyway.

I do have to have fluids till Tuesday, and hopefully with the antibiotics I am taking as a precaution, that will keep me out of the hospital when my white count goes down next week. I need to be drinking more, but it is so hard. It is weird to feel you skin just getting dry and drawing up but I can. I am just going to have to force feed water down myself-- more tubeless trips to the bathroom.

Syd took the day off and she came to spend the day with me. Cindy will be here sometime next week. My legs hurts a little but, but I am still just really tired. I start out a little nauseaus in the morning, but it is ok now. Tonight I get my Nulasta shot (white count booster) but it makes your bones ache. Mine has not been to bad with this thus far. I do not expect anything worse on the last treatment.

My head is really bald. Last time I had a lot of strands of short hairs that did not fall out. This time it is pure scalp----except this one stupid looking patch of hair that looks like beard on my head. Bob is going to have to shave it off or something. He says it looks like a map of the US on the left side of my head. Anyway, it is going!

Even though I am not ready to get out the bubbly, I am so happy that chemo is over. I can't wait to get that medicine take out of my mouth and this chemo in and out of my body so I can get back to normal---whatever that is.

Yea! It's over!

Starting day three slow

I start and end each day slowly and peak a little in the middle. Nothing really hurts, but I am incredibly tired at the beginning and end of the day. Yesterday, I got a little work done over email and phone. Bob was here for a little while, and a friend, Matt, who is doing a fellowship here came be for a nice visit and chat. That made the afternoon go by faster. That is the problem. The days are so long. I have 7.5 hours for drug and then there is another hour or so of getting ready so
I am usually here from 8:45 to about 5:15pm. I feel asleep in the care on the way home with Loree and went straight to bed. Bob even feed me in bed. I rallied about 8pm and Gloria came over and played Backgammon with me till 10:30. Neither of us had played in about 20 years so we kept having to call Syd to remember how to set up the board. I think we have the hang up of it now. And now Syd and I can play each other on the internet or when she comes over on Friday.

For at least a few days, I DO NOT HAVE THE WOUND VAC. They are trying to get rid of that slough stuff with some gel solution so I will probably not have it though the weekend. No plugs during the weekend (except I will probably need some home IV's for a couple of hours each day). Nurse Kathy says its possible by then the wound could be small enough that I won't need the wound vac anymore but she till not committ to that. I will take the weekend and be happy with that................so far. I do have to take some chemo home with me tonight but it does not have an electrical plug-- just plugged into me. But after tonight no all night apparatisus for a few days.

Day three moving was a little harder than I remembered but I am bouncing back mid morning.
I 'd like to do a few work email and sleep the day away but it doesn't quite work that way. It is just a very long lonely day. But is it day 3 of the last!

Just like old times....almost

What a weekend! I ususally start out early on Saturday morning (pre-cancer) playing tennis at 830 0r 9 and go all day on errands, appmts, etc. Then I have ALTA tennis all Sunday afternoon. This weekend was almost like that... almost normal!

About 11 on Saturday Susan took me to watch Bob's tennis match in Alpharetta. He was playing with Stephen, Susan's son. While they played great, as Bob says, "They came in second". It was an almost cool breezy morning, and it was great to be out amongst the living! We were there maybe an hour to an hour and a half. After that, Susan and I went to Publix just to pick up a few things we both needed. I came home and rested for a little more than an hour, and Loree picked me up to go to Rita Ellen's Boutique. We both did some damage there! I bought a couple of skirts and tops so I am ready to go back to work for fall and winter. One skirt I bought, the gray one, I really loved. But more than the skirt, I loved the size----SMALL. I think I would have bought it even if it were ugly as long as it says "small". I can't ever remember wearing a small! Bob is lucky I got out there with so few things -- only cause I got tired and with this wound vac I can't try pants on easily. I will return.

I got to rest for a couple more hours. Trying on clothes is exhausting! Then we went and have a lovely dinner at the Tousets. We had the Alabama game on with no volume. The salmon was delicious, but the game made me a nervous wreck. If you watched it you know why. We left there about 10 pm (from about 6:45 - a very long outting for me). I could not turn the Alabama game on when I first got home as they had been winning and started making some horrible turnovers. Finally after I changed clothes and got in the bed I turned it on and we were losing 38 -31. It was an exciting white knuckle ride till the end, but Bama finally did prevail. It took me about an hour to get my heart rate to an acceptable level.

I thought I would be exhausted all day on Sunday, but I got dressed and watched my tennis team play from 1:30 till about 5:45. Another long day but a fun one. Susan brought me a comfortable chair to sit in and the weather was glorious. There were even a few minutes I thought I needed a blanket.

Today, I started chemo. Before it started they drew labs and told me I was not scheduled to see the Doc (Saba) until next week. Somebody goofed. You always see the Doc before chemo. Besides, he and I had some ground rules I needed to clear up before next week. My chemo nurses got it straightened out, and I got in to see him. We had a long talk about how we could avoid me going back to the ER. I am okay being admitted to the hospital, just not through the ER. So we are starting me on anitbiotics Thursday as a precautionary. Normally I see him for labs the Monday after chemo and that is before my white count gets low. Next week I am going to see him on Wednesday instead. If past history means anything, that is about the time my white count is low and my fever is up. Since he will be in the office and have seen me, he can direct admit me if necessary. So next Wednesday, I am coming with bags packed but praying I do not need them. He says as long as he is here or on call we can do a direct admit. Or I can try telling the on call doc that he said to admit me, not send me to the ER. At any rate, I got my point across, and I believe he will do everything he can to keep me out of the ER.

I wish I had not asked him this but I did. I asked with my history (me thinking clear surgical margins, 100% nacrotic tumor) what my chances of reoccurance were. He said 50% which was shocking to me. Every thing I had seen said if it was not in the lung then chances of it NOT coming back were about 76%. The size of this one dropped it to 50%. He said we are going to be watching it all the time via CT scans with the surgeon and with him every 3 months. I did not realize I would be seeing him that often as well. I asked him if I should be feeling my arms etc for knots and he assured me it would be lungs or the leg and we would watch those areas regularly. It did upset me but he told me not to get hung up on the numbers. The treatment worked well the first time, and if we ever have to, we'll just take it out and do it again. I can't really get hung up on what is going to happen next cause you can worry yourself to death but it is in the back of my mind. I am trying to focus on this week, getting chemo over and seeing if I can manage to end this without being back in the hospital.

In the meantime, I had a wonderful, normal weekend and I cannot wait to have multitudes of them back to back!

Nurse Kathy came at 7 so I had to take a shower (yea) at 630. She had to cut the sponge even smaller which means the wound is continuing to heal. She says it needs to do some sloughing off (or something like that) which is normal. She is contacting the Doc to see about putting a gel pack in for a few days so that can happen. The wound vac would be off during that time (yea) but come back will come back after that but it may give me a little break. I am hoping by the end of the month the wound vac, PICC line, and any major chemo side effects will be almost gone. We are really getting close now!

A Good Few Days

I 've felt pretty good the last few days. I still get tired easily and the wound thing is not the most comfortable in the world, but overall not too bad! I am doing every thing I know to do --eat better, take vitamins, drink a lot, to get ready for chemo next week. I am not sure what I can do to really prepare myself, but I am going to try to take advantage of any energy I have and get out a little since I know I will be pretty much confined for a couple of weeks starting Monday. I just hope I can stay out of the hospital ER and get through this last round easily.

Wednesday night Bob noticed I was leaving a trail of hair (albeit short hair) every where I went. So Barber Bob buzzed it all off. It was almost comical. We just did not have all the proper equipment a real barber would have, but we managed with some scissors and an electric razor. It took a while, and the result was the same as the last time I had it buzzed off professionally! Even though my hair was only about an inch long, I had a lot a of it! And thank goodness, a lot of it was really brown. We'll see what happens the next time it comes back in, around Christmas I guess. After he cut my hair, Bob had to "flush my picc line". We have to do that daily. It is like injecting saline solution and heperin though each tube of the to make sure they are fresh and "open" when they need to be accessed. I hope to get that taken out a few days after chemo when they are sure I will not need fluids, antibiotics or anything else. Then, Bob had to try to fix our vaccuum cleaner -- the real one not the wound vacc. What a multi talented guy! Of course the one thing he could not do was the most expensive to fix -- the vaccuum cleaner. Although in the great scheme of things, I have been pretty expensive to fix too!

No big weekend plans--tonight we may try to go to a quick and early dinner with friends if I am up for it. Bob has a tennis match on Saturday and since it is an away match I will not even attempt to go. I may venture out to Publix to buy some chemo snacks for next week. And Sunday I am still hoping to see my tennis team play for an hour or so.

I hate to wish the days away, but that is exactly what I am doing. I would give anything if it were two or three weeks from now. Each day I watch the clock trying to make it go faster just to get this all over with, but I know it will be soon. I just can't wait! Hope your weekend is good!

Bouncing back

I feel so much better today. Here it is after 1pm, and I have not even thought about a nap. I still look a little sunken in and can tell I just need to be drinking more fluids. Soon it will be champaign that will do the trick because I will be through with all this mess and can celebrate. If all goes well, I will be through with Chemo one week from tomorrow. While I am not looking forward to it, I just can't wait to get it over with.

My scalp is feeling really weird and a little achy to the touch. Every morning I wake up and grab what little hair I have and give it a tug to see if it all comes out. There are a just few strands on the pillow case, sink etc but I am sure the next day or so it will be all over the place --relatively speaking. What a waste of time for it to go to the energy of falling out when it is just going to have to start growing back again in a couple of months! If only it would listen to me.

Nurse Kathy came to day and I continue to heal nicely. Although I probably have at least 3 more weeks with the wound vac -- Fred as we call it. I can't print what I really call it most days.

I keep trying to keep myself busy with work, paying bills, household paperwork to keep my mind off the next couple or weeks. I am hoping to be able to travel overnight for work in late October so I am trying to start planning that without jinxing it! It looks like we are going to be able to go to Destin for Thanksgiving so I just keep focusing on that too. I am probably not supposed to be in the sun so soon after chemo but that time of year the sun is hardly a threat.

And finally, maybe Sunday, I will be able to go watch my tennis team play for an hour or so. We have all new courts, and I have not even been down there yet. And maybe I can even hit a ball or two before the year is over!