I was still running about 102F temp this morning so no chemo for me today. And since it is a 7.5 hour treatment for4 days in a row, they cannot do it now till next week, provided I have kicked whatever this is. Tonight I am feeling substantially betterand right now my temp is down to 99F, so maybe I will have a few good days and be on top of the world for my 2nd treatment starting next week. I still have to go in each day for IV antibiotics. If cultures are clear tomorrow, then they will just prescribe something to take orally .
They took needles out of the port and that feels a lot better already. If I can get rid of the fever headache I may have to try to hit a tennis ball this weekend. Bob and the nurses think that is crazy, but the doctor is fine with it! What will probably happen is that we will really just do our taxes! Life goes on..............
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
A Hot No-Chemo Day
Unfortunately no chemo again today. Geri had a temp. of 103F at 6:oo this morning and was feeling awful. It was still over 102F when we got to Emory Crawford Long at 8:30 so they took blood for analysis and cultures. They also ordered a chest X-ray which came back clear. The blood analysis white cell numbers were good and the cultures will take 24 - 48 hours for results. One possibility is an infection in the port area. Geri is sure thats what it is because she has been complaining of pain in that area and even went to ECL last week for them to check. They put it down to the blood clot detected during round 1 chemo and for which she has been getting blood thinner shots every day.
Around noon they started anantibiotic IV drip for 90 mins then let us go home. Since then she has been resting, with teeth chattering even under five blankets with the electirc one on full and a temp still over 102F. We are back at ECL tomorrow morning for more antibiotic and, hopefully, the fever will have subsided and they can start chemo.
Around noon they started anantibiotic IV drip for 90 mins then let us go home. Since then she has been resting, with teeth chattering even under five blankets with the electirc one on full and a temp still over 102F. We are back at ECL tomorrow morning for more antibiotic and, hopefully, the fever will have subsided and they can start chemo.
Monday, February 26, 2007
I am fine - but a disappointing day!
I did my part but the system failed me! I got to chemo 10 minutes early, but it seems Mondays are a busy day. By the time they got to me, accessed my port (which took 5 or 6 stabs to find- more info than you want to know), drew blood and got it to the lab, the lab was "down". I am not sure what that means but I think it has something to do with their automation systems. Sometime after 11, when they still could not get my lab results which they need before starting chemo, they decided to send me home. Since my chemo requires 7.5 hours, it was too late to start for today, so will be in chemo Tues -Fri vs Monday - Thurs. It really did not change much for me except it is one more day we will have to drive downtown in rush hour, and my assigned driver for the afternoon (I have my own Dept of Transportation), friend Rosanne, will pick me up on Friday instead. It did allow me to participate in my afternoon conference call without interruption from anyone poking me with needles and gave me one more day of feeling pretty good -- good enough to cook dinner so I had better get on with it! Bob's hungry!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
What fun!
For me work has always been pretty fun, but nothing has been better than last week
(even Connections Auto - which only my work friends will understand)! It was great to be normal --although my friend Angela and I usually have great (although not too deep) philosophical discussions on "What is normal?". She did send me a magnet that said "Normal is just a setting on the washing machine". That is probably correct. But if there is another "normal" , I had it last week. I was out there working, and it was so much fun! I really miss it! How lucky I am to be able to say that after working at the same place for 25 years!
I came home exhausted and too tired to blog! Sorry! I have kept it low key all weekend (although 2 more trips to Publix - don't sell your stock!) and went for a little walk yesterday. I am trying really hard to stay healthy for tomorrow - 2nd round of chemo. I don't want to risk anything healthwise to make them delay it.
I am really happy with the wig! My friend Yonnie, who I have worked with for over 20 years, went with me to get it, so she acted as my "cut" consultant! Bob may take a picture later and post it. Actually, the wig is actually how I would wear my hair, if me hair would do that. Maybe the new texture will allow that when it grows back! My head is a little sensitive and itchy now so I have not worn it much and have been sticking to hats and caps mostly. But once I really get out again, I will have it on. I have to get my money's worth (I am not telling how much!) out of it!
So here is a good thing about having a serious illness - Earlier this week I was in an alterations shop having some pants altered. There were a couple of other women in the store that heard me talking to the shop owner about chemo (the cap and no hair were a dead giveaway). These two strangers, who approached me, were so nice, supportive and caring that it really warmed my heart. They had friends and family members going through the same thing and were very empathetic and understanding. If I had had hair, we would have never even had a conversation. They asked for the blog address and gave me their phone numbers, and they actually live in neighborhoods near by. So good things do happen from bad. People are just wonderful everywhere you look!
Tomorrow is filled with chemo and conference calls, but I think I have timed the calls just right as long as everything is "normal". They really keep my mind off the chemo! Keep your fingers crossed that round two will be as smooth as round 1!
Katie - tried to respond to your email but it would not let me. Send me an email direct to my email address -- grtape@bellsouth.net.
(even Connections Auto - which only my work friends will understand)! It was great to be normal --although my friend Angela and I usually have great (although not too deep) philosophical discussions on "What is normal?". She did send me a magnet that said "Normal is just a setting on the washing machine". That is probably correct. But if there is another "normal" , I had it last week. I was out there working, and it was so much fun! I really miss it! How lucky I am to be able to say that after working at the same place for 25 years!
I came home exhausted and too tired to blog! Sorry! I have kept it low key all weekend (although 2 more trips to Publix - don't sell your stock!) and went for a little walk yesterday. I am trying really hard to stay healthy for tomorrow - 2nd round of chemo. I don't want to risk anything healthwise to make them delay it.
I am really happy with the wig! My friend Yonnie, who I have worked with for over 20 years, went with me to get it, so she acted as my "cut" consultant! Bob may take a picture later and post it. Actually, the wig is actually how I would wear my hair, if me hair would do that. Maybe the new texture will allow that when it grows back! My head is a little sensitive and itchy now so I have not worn it much and have been sticking to hats and caps mostly. But once I really get out again, I will have it on. I have to get my money's worth (I am not telling how much!) out of it!
So here is a good thing about having a serious illness - Earlier this week I was in an alterations shop having some pants altered. There were a couple of other women in the store that heard me talking to the shop owner about chemo (the cap and no hair were a dead giveaway). These two strangers, who approached me, were so nice, supportive and caring that it really warmed my heart. They had friends and family members going through the same thing and were very empathetic and understanding. If I had had hair, we would have never even had a conversation. They asked for the blog address and gave me their phone numbers, and they actually live in neighborhoods near by. So good things do happen from bad. People are just wonderful everywhere you look!
Tomorrow is filled with chemo and conference calls, but I think I have timed the calls just right as long as everything is "normal". They really keep my mind off the chemo! Keep your fingers crossed that round two will be as smooth as round 1!
Katie - tried to respond to your email but it would not let me. Send me an email direct to my email address -- grtape@bellsouth.net.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Hard At Work
Geri wanted me to let you all know she is fine and has been out working the last two days. She has loved it but has come home tired at the end of the day. Too tired to hit the keyboard she says but I think its because she has recorded soaps to catch up on. (Don't tell her I said that.)
She did go by the hospital this morning on her way to an appointment because she was still getting some discomfort around the port area but they said everything was fine. With a new experience you don't know what is "normal".
Geri says "Good night" and she will catch up with you at the weekend.
She did go by the hospital this morning on her way to an appointment because she was still getting some discomfort around the port area but they said everything was fine. With a new experience you don't know what is "normal".
Geri says "Good night" and she will catch up with you at the weekend.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
It is the strangest things that get you!
Every time I would lather up and scrub my hair in the shower today, a handful came out. There was a lot on the bathroom floor too, so it was perfect timing for "wig day" today. The place I went, The Women's Place Boutique at Northside Hospital, could not have been more lovely, warm and caring. They have all sorts of things for women with all kinds of issues (from nursing mothers to cancer patients). They are not a "wig store" but more like an elegant service. Working with me was one of their staff people as well as a "stylist", who owns his own salon, but comes there 2 days a week to help style and color wigs. David, my stylist, who is probably in his mid 30's, had a friend 10 years earlier who had cancer and was with her when her hair started falling out. He helped her pick out a wig, cut and colored it for her and has been doing this on the side ever since.
There is a lot to buying a wig. The cap seems to be the critical issue in both comfort and cost. Then, of course whether you go for synthetic or human hair, is a price driving factor. The human hair wigs start at $2000 and go to $4000. I did not get one of them. Bob has yet to ask me what I spent. We tried on several - first finding the right cap, then looking for style and color. I was shocked to find I would not walk out with a wig today. It usually takes 2 to 3 visits as they don't keep a ton in stock, and then the wig has to be styled. They rearranged some things so I can get mine Friday afternoon, and I guess David will cut and style it then.
Of course I have agency appointments starting tomorrow , so I was a little anxious going on business calls with a hat and no hair. I had no choice but to go ahead have them cut my hair off there at the boutique. I did not shave it, so it is about 1/8 of an inch long. You can really see how much gray hair you have when it is that short. I just could not watch and I had to face Mitzi while they were buzzing it. I did glance to the side and could see it all. It really was not that shocking. After the cut, she washed my head and showed me some things I should do every day. Then we spent about 45 minutes looking at some hats, caps etc. It is a good thing I have a pretty face! Now I am really going to have to do the make up and fab earring thing! On a good note, they did not think I would lose my eyebrows and lashes for awhile, but told me not to use mascara or tug on them!
I was fine with all of that. I left the hospital with a headband and a white baseball cap with the breast cancer logo on it that I sent to sister Lisa when she was going though chemo. Now she is sharing it with me. I just pray that we do not have to pass it on to any other sister. Mitzi and I grabbed some lunch quickly, and then I was off to Publix, and back home to work. All of a sudden I had a sort of a mini melt down in the Publix parking lot just for about 3 minutes. I had been around strangers all day and that was not a problem. I knew I would probably run into people I knew at Publix, and I was okay with that. I had all this anxiety about running into people I "sort of knew" who did not know what was going on. I've told you I am in Publix all the time. I do my banking there and also use it as my pharmacy, as well as buy groceries. While a few people know me by name, many know my face. All I could think about now was that I was going to see these "not so" strangers, and, as soon as they saw me in my cap, their thought was going to be "Oh! She has cancer." I've done it a million times myself, so I know it is true. That "Oh!", although silent, is deafening. I know I am the same person I was 2 months ago before this all started, but I did feel as if these people were going to be thinking differently of me now. I don't know why that bothered me so much. The fact of the matter is I am really flattering myself if I think they really thought about me for more than about 5 seconds. So I tried to start thinking a little more logically and went into the store. No one I "knew" waited on me, although they were close by. Like a coward, I avoided eye contact with those I did "know", and hopefully next visit I will be a little more mature and reasonable.
I continue to get so many wonderfully loving and supportive emails from you. Just know, I can't "reply " to them from the comments section. It does not know your email address. But please know I so appreciate them all and will reply when I can if I have your email address in other places.
There is a lot to buying a wig. The cap seems to be the critical issue in both comfort and cost. Then, of course whether you go for synthetic or human hair, is a price driving factor. The human hair wigs start at $2000 and go to $4000. I did not get one of them. Bob has yet to ask me what I spent. We tried on several - first finding the right cap, then looking for style and color. I was shocked to find I would not walk out with a wig today. It usually takes 2 to 3 visits as they don't keep a ton in stock, and then the wig has to be styled. They rearranged some things so I can get mine Friday afternoon, and I guess David will cut and style it then.
Of course I have agency appointments starting tomorrow , so I was a little anxious going on business calls with a hat and no hair. I had no choice but to go ahead have them cut my hair off there at the boutique. I did not shave it, so it is about 1/8 of an inch long. You can really see how much gray hair you have when it is that short. I just could not watch and I had to face Mitzi while they were buzzing it. I did glance to the side and could see it all. It really was not that shocking. After the cut, she washed my head and showed me some things I should do every day. Then we spent about 45 minutes looking at some hats, caps etc. It is a good thing I have a pretty face! Now I am really going to have to do the make up and fab earring thing! On a good note, they did not think I would lose my eyebrows and lashes for awhile, but told me not to use mascara or tug on them!
I was fine with all of that. I left the hospital with a headband and a white baseball cap with the breast cancer logo on it that I sent to sister Lisa when she was going though chemo. Now she is sharing it with me. I just pray that we do not have to pass it on to any other sister. Mitzi and I grabbed some lunch quickly, and then I was off to Publix, and back home to work. All of a sudden I had a sort of a mini melt down in the Publix parking lot just for about 3 minutes. I had been around strangers all day and that was not a problem. I knew I would probably run into people I knew at Publix, and I was okay with that. I had all this anxiety about running into people I "sort of knew" who did not know what was going on. I've told you I am in Publix all the time. I do my banking there and also use it as my pharmacy, as well as buy groceries. While a few people know me by name, many know my face. All I could think about now was that I was going to see these "not so" strangers, and, as soon as they saw me in my cap, their thought was going to be "Oh! She has cancer." I've done it a million times myself, so I know it is true. That "Oh!", although silent, is deafening. I know I am the same person I was 2 months ago before this all started, but I did feel as if these people were going to be thinking differently of me now. I don't know why that bothered me so much. The fact of the matter is I am really flattering myself if I think they really thought about me for more than about 5 seconds. So I tried to start thinking a little more logically and went into the store. No one I "knew" waited on me, although they were close by. Like a coward, I avoided eye contact with those I did "know", and hopefully next visit I will be a little more mature and reasonable.
I continue to get so many wonderfully loving and supportive emails from you. Just know, I can't "reply " to them from the comments section. It does not know your email address. But please know I so appreciate them all and will reply when I can if I have your email address in other places.
Monday, February 19, 2007
A regular work Monday
Under normal circumstances, Monday is pretty much a "paper" work day for me. I usually go to the office, do a lot of paperwork, prepare for the coming week, have conference calls, etc. Well that is exactly what today was - a typical Monday. However, I did all that from home today (most people who do my job always work from home) . I guess the big difference was that most of the time I was in my bathrobe, and some of the time I was lying on the bed. Still the work got done and I had the most normal day I've had in what seems like a long time.
More hair coming out all over the place. I almost just shaved it off today, but the two people I thought could do it were both out of town. Tomorrow Mitzi and I go to get the wig, and we will then go someplace after and get rid of my hair. I guess I could have walked in anywhere (although most salons are closed on Monday), but I really did not want to go by myself to do this. My lifelong friend Mitzi and I have suffered through curly hair misery (you know, rolling our hair on orange juice cans to straighten it) together for decades (maybe half a century, but who is counting) so it only seem appropriate she share this with me!
I have made some appointments and hope to be out some this week. I can't wait!
More hair coming out all over the place. I almost just shaved it off today, but the two people I thought could do it were both out of town. Tomorrow Mitzi and I go to get the wig, and we will then go someplace after and get rid of my hair. I guess I could have walked in anywhere (although most salons are closed on Monday), but I really did not want to go by myself to do this. My lifelong friend Mitzi and I have suffered through curly hair misery (you know, rolling our hair on orange juice cans to straighten it) together for decades (maybe half a century, but who is counting) so it only seem appropriate she share this with me!
I have made some appointments and hope to be out some this week. I can't wait!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
A new routine
Prior to a couple of months ago, my typical Saturday started with a weekly "friendly" tennis match at 9am (7:30 in the summer to avoid the heat), then I ran about a million errands, showered mid day, and ran another million errands. I might do some work, pay bills and maybe go out to dinner with friends. I ran non stop on Saturday from about 8:30 till 11pm easily.
Napping has never been anything I did at all - ever. I am such a lousy sleeper, I would not dare nap and ruin sleeping that night. If I even stopped to watch TV, I had 10 other things going at the same.
My weekend routine has changed dramatically. My niece Landon, 13, spent the night with us Friday night, and it was great having her here. We slept late, fixed breakfast, and then I drove her to the Mariott Marquis for a cheerleading competition, (I did not even get out of the car), spent 15 minutes in Publix and pretty much napped most of the afternoon. Today, I had breakfast, a shower, and then a hour nap before watching a movie. I am blown away by how tired I get so quickly. I have gone from one extreme to the other. I am hoping I will remember how to relax when this is all over, but this is way too sedentary for me. Starting tomorrow, I am going to try to go to the gym during lunch and walk on a tread mill for at least 15 minutes. When you need a nap after a shower and breakfast, some thing needs to change!
Other than being tired, I am feeling ok. Still planning on getting out some for work next week.
A few more hair strands are appearing in my shower, so it may be time to buzz cut it tomorrow. Tuesday lunch is the wig appmt so it may be just in time.
Napping has never been anything I did at all - ever. I am such a lousy sleeper, I would not dare nap and ruin sleeping that night. If I even stopped to watch TV, I had 10 other things going at the same.
My weekend routine has changed dramatically. My niece Landon, 13, spent the night with us Friday night, and it was great having her here. We slept late, fixed breakfast, and then I drove her to the Mariott Marquis for a cheerleading competition, (I did not even get out of the car), spent 15 minutes in Publix and pretty much napped most of the afternoon. Today, I had breakfast, a shower, and then a hour nap before watching a movie. I am blown away by how tired I get so quickly. I have gone from one extreme to the other. I am hoping I will remember how to relax when this is all over, but this is way too sedentary for me. Starting tomorrow, I am going to try to go to the gym during lunch and walk on a tread mill for at least 15 minutes. When you need a nap after a shower and breakfast, some thing needs to change!
Other than being tired, I am feeling ok. Still planning on getting out some for work next week.
A few more hair strands are appearing in my shower, so it may be time to buzz cut it tomorrow. Tuesday lunch is the wig appmt so it may be just in time.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Much better ending
Last night my fever got above the warning number of 100.5. It would go up a 10th of a point or two and then down. I thought I might have a sinus infection. I was scared to go sleep without calling the hotline so finally, when it hung in around 100.6 for awhile, I called in. My Dr. told me to come in first thing in the morning to run some tests (there went the wig appointment). Evidently when I was there for my last appointment on Wednesday ( 2/14 ) my white count was at an all time low of 1.1, which is where it should have been after chemo. Before I got today's tests back, he told me that if the white count had not improved he would just admit me to the hospital and give me IV antibiotics till the infection cleared. I had no idea I was in for that. I had driven myself to the clinic for the first time, and was in shock. About 30 minutes later he came in and said my numbers were great with my white count at 9.1, good even for a person not undergoing chemo. He gave me a prescription for the sinus infection and said I was free to go! I celebrated by going to Publix for the first time on about 2 weeks. There is the perception amongst some people in my family and neighborhood that I visit Publix every day. It is probably close to being true. But this was by far my happiest visit there ever!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Low energy day
While I can't say anything really hurt, I was really tired today. Got work done, but not at the pace I had hoped for. I ran some fever last night, but did not get past the dangerous level. These are expected to be my low threshold days, and I can see that now; however, I have overdone it a bit this week so I may be paying for it today. All in all though, not too bad!
New eyebrows today! Go figure!
New eyebrows today! Go figure!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Best news we could have gotten
The results of the PET scan could have only been one of two things - the dye in my system would have lit up like a Christmas tree indicating malignancy or they would see nothing which is "inconclusive" and that is the answer we got and wanted. The Doctor said there is a possibility there are a few maliginant cells there, but the chemo will handle them. More than likely, however, the lymph nodes were swollen to gear up to fight the cancer from spreading. Regardless, it is great news. I have been pretty anxious about this for several days and not resting all that well, so now I know I can get some sleep. As long as I don't get a fever and chills, I do not have to go back to the clinic until Feb 26 to start chemo again. The blood clot around the port is still bothering me, something like a bit of a stabbing pain, and that will take weeks to resolve. But other than that and a headache, no other pain so far! I am hoping to have a couple of good work days at home the rest of the week while my immune system is low, and then be able to see a few agencies a day next week. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. This is the best Valentine's Day ever!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
A Slow News Day.... the best kind
Today is Day 5 after chemo and still no bone pain or nausea. I actually worked most of the day with not a lot of need down time. I am pretty sure the key is just to do what you are supposed to do- drink a lot of fluids, get potassium and iron into your diet. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but during chemo when they were pumping me with steroids and fluids, I gained about 13 lbs - now I have a net loss of about 4 which makes it a 17lb swing in a week. Buy stock in whoever manufactures Charmin!
I don't think I grew any new eyebrows at all today , so "wig day", Friday, will be just in time. By the way, I have no intention of allowing Bob to post a picture of me hairless at this point. I always thought if there was one "free" food I could eat without guilt or calories, it would hot glazed Krispy Kremes. Somehow that led me to think that if I could pick a spot to save my hair now, it would be my eyebrows (I am sure no one thought it would be my "legs"). I am really concerned about drawing my eyebrows on straight. Anyone can put on a wig or a cap, but it takes real talent to draw on straight eyebrows. Someone suggested I have Bob hang a laser level in my bathroom to help, but that is probably a little over the top for me even for me.
Tomorrow is a big day for the news of the results of the PET scan. Hopefully, I have worn myself out enough to sleep good tonight. And it is Valentine's Day tomorrow. I am so lucky to be so loved.
I don't think I grew any new eyebrows at all today , so "wig day", Friday, will be just in time. By the way, I have no intention of allowing Bob to post a picture of me hairless at this point. I always thought if there was one "free" food I could eat without guilt or calories, it would hot glazed Krispy Kremes. Somehow that led me to think that if I could pick a spot to save my hair now, it would be my eyebrows (I am sure no one thought it would be my "legs"). I am really concerned about drawing my eyebrows on straight. Anyone can put on a wig or a cap, but it takes real talent to draw on straight eyebrows. Someone suggested I have Bob hang a laser level in my bathroom to help, but that is probably a little over the top for me even for me.
Tomorrow is a big day for the news of the results of the PET scan. Hopefully, I have worn myself out enough to sleep good tonight. And it is Valentine's Day tomorrow. I am so lucky to be so loved.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Thanks goodness for uneventful days
Monday, Day 4 after chemo and still kicking. Each morning I lay in bed when I wake up and ask myself "Do my bones hurt yet?" So far, the answer is still "no", thank heavens. Tomorrow at 6:00am is the last dose, for this chemo round, of my 4 day "heavy duty" nausea drugs. I guess the experts think the 4 days after chemo are when you need them to most. Hopefully, tomorrow morning I will be over that hurdle.
Today my bloodwork was pretty good, except a little low on potassium, and so I did not have to get fluids. I am drinking lots of Gatorade cut with water, eating bananas, dried apricots, and everything else we could find that WebMD says has a decent level of potassium. I find it is a lot easier to drink gallons and get to a bathroom when you are not "wired" up. I am not sure how I am going to handle that when I am back calling on agencies again.
This is my first day in 8 days to not have an IV, although they did use a needle for blood 3 other times today. For some reason my port is happy to take drugs, but it fights to give up any blood. I got to come home after the PET Scan and have an afternoon here. I did get a little work done, and put some things into place to really get things up and running from my home office, should I be so lucky tomorrow.
I got a few new eyebrows today, but not nearly as many as I usually do. I have an appointment to get fitted for a wig sometime next week. I had to get a "cranial prosthesis" prescription from my doctor and fax over my health insurance card before they would even give me an appointment. Wigs can be incredibly expensive, I discovered - about the same as 2 years of hair cut and color. I do have a set amount covered by health insurance so that's good. You'll have to decide when you see me if I went for the upscale Buckhead salon version, or the Fantastic Sam's variety. I have decided this wig appointment will be one Bob will miss and sister Sydney will take me. While there is not much dignity left in our relationship with all he has had to do for me, he is out of all hair making decisions.
PET Scan results on Wednesday. Yikes.
Today my bloodwork was pretty good, except a little low on potassium, and so I did not have to get fluids. I am drinking lots of Gatorade cut with water, eating bananas, dried apricots, and everything else we could find that WebMD says has a decent level of potassium. I find it is a lot easier to drink gallons and get to a bathroom when you are not "wired" up. I am not sure how I am going to handle that when I am back calling on agencies again.
This is my first day in 8 days to not have an IV, although they did use a needle for blood 3 other times today. For some reason my port is happy to take drugs, but it fights to give up any blood. I got to come home after the PET Scan and have an afternoon here. I did get a little work done, and put some things into place to really get things up and running from my home office, should I be so lucky tomorrow.
I got a few new eyebrows today, but not nearly as many as I usually do. I have an appointment to get fitted for a wig sometime next week. I had to get a "cranial prosthesis" prescription from my doctor and fax over my health insurance card before they would even give me an appointment. Wigs can be incredibly expensive, I discovered - about the same as 2 years of hair cut and color. I do have a set amount covered by health insurance so that's good. You'll have to decide when you see me if I went for the upscale Buckhead salon version, or the Fantastic Sam's variety. I have decided this wig appointment will be one Bob will miss and sister Sydney will take me. While there is not much dignity left in our relationship with all he has had to do for me, he is out of all hair making decisions.
PET Scan results on Wednesday. Yikes.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Posting Comments
Some of you good folks are reporting having a problem posting comments. To submit a comment single-left-mouse click on the word 'comments' at the bottom right of an entry to comment on that entry. Ignore the number in front of 'comments' if there is one, that just shows there are already comments posted there. The pop-up window will show the existing comments, if any, and below is an input box for your comments. To submit comments fill in the Word verification box with the letters image you see above it. This is a security feature to stop computer generated spam from flooding the 'Comments' section. Check one of the three radio buttons . If you put your name in at the end of your message in the comment box or if you want to remain anonymous then you can check the Anonymous radio button. If you check the 'Other' button then you can put your name and/or a web address (both optional). You can use the Google/blogger button if you have a Google identity.
Hope this works for you. Geri enjoys and appreciates hearing from you.
Hope this works for you. Geri enjoys and appreciates hearing from you.
Hair today...
Another good day - yea! This is day 3 after chemo and still no bone pain or anything else for that matter. Bob and I went for a walk by the river close to our house and clocked about 1.2 miles. Not a marathon by any means, but I think it helps to keep my energy up, and I will need it to be ready for tennis next fall (I hope).
I keep waiting for my hair to fall out, but so far, no signs. I am growing dozens of new eyebrows, so evidently my hair has not gotten the memo yet. Because of the blood thinners, I can't shave my legs (as I don't have an electric razor and Bob thinks its crazy for me to even be concerned about hairy legs) because they don't want me to cut myself, and it is making me crazy. I am hooked up to the IV for a couple more hours today for fluids. The darn IV pump is running slow, although home health care swears pumps are always accurate, but it takes about 4.5 hours to run about 3 hours worth of fluid. We know Bob hooked it up right (and actually home health hooked up the first one), and I trust his engineering mind a lot more than the part timer we had on the phone.
I am little anxious about the PET scan tomorrow, although I know the odds are way in my favor, and even if it has spead to those particular nodes, it does not change much of anything. We have to be at Emory at 7:45am on Monday at rush hour, so we will have to leave probably by 6:15am.
We have Cindy doing laundry and cooking dinner tonight, and that is entertainment in itself. We are running her around, so she is going to need a long vacation to get over this week!
I keep waiting for my hair to fall out, but so far, no signs. I am growing dozens of new eyebrows, so evidently my hair has not gotten the memo yet. Because of the blood thinners, I can't shave my legs (as I don't have an electric razor and Bob thinks its crazy for me to even be concerned about hairy legs) because they don't want me to cut myself, and it is making me crazy. I am hooked up to the IV for a couple more hours today for fluids. The darn IV pump is running slow, although home health care swears pumps are always accurate, but it takes about 4.5 hours to run about 3 hours worth of fluid. We know Bob hooked it up right (and actually home health hooked up the first one), and I trust his engineering mind a lot more than the part timer we had on the phone.
I am little anxious about the PET scan tomorrow, although I know the odds are way in my favor, and even if it has spead to those particular nodes, it does not change much of anything. We have to be at Emory at 7:45am on Monday at rush hour, so we will have to leave probably by 6:15am.
We have Cindy doing laundry and cooking dinner tonight, and that is entertainment in itself. We are running her around, so she is going to need a long vacation to get over this week!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
At least I am at home!
Saturday, and we got to sleep in! While I was up off and on in the early morning hours, we did get to stay in bed till almost 9am. I've felt pretty good most of the day with only a dull headache, probably from some of the drugs. There were some screw ups with the home healthcare, so we did not get my IV pumping till 5pm. Now I have to be plugged in till 8pm. But got to spend most of the day "wireless". Since my iron is a little low, I have justified grilling a steak tonight. Of course Bob had to research and verify for sure that was more iron in a steak than in liver and a whole lot tastier! Food still tastes good; I just don't want much of it, which isn't all bad!
I have been pretty lucky so far, but I keep hearing the next couple of days may be tougher. I read in a study, only 31% had mild to moderate bone aches (for four days following chemo) from the immune boosting drug Bob injected me with yesterday, and 26% of the placebo group had the pain too! I will take those odds.
I am still sort of shell shocked about this whole thing. So much has happened so fast, it is still so surreal. I have always been a big planner and a bit of a control freak, and with things changing so much from day to day, I am really having to adjust. I feel like now I am in a 12 step program, just taking it one day at a time. I still have plans, but I am learning to be a bit more flexible with them and give myself some leeway. Who says you can't teach and old dog new tricks?
I have been pretty lucky so far, but I keep hearing the next couple of days may be tougher. I read in a study, only 31% had mild to moderate bone aches (for four days following chemo) from the immune boosting drug Bob injected me with yesterday, and 26% of the placebo group had the pain too! I will take those odds.
I am still sort of shell shocked about this whole thing. So much has happened so fast, it is still so surreal. I have always been a big planner and a bit of a control freak, and with things changing so much from day to day, I am really having to adjust. I feel like now I am in a 12 step program, just taking it one day at a time. I still have plans, but I am learning to be a bit more flexible with them and give myself some leeway. Who says you can't teach and old dog new tricks?
Friday, February 9, 2007
Friday Night
Well the three hours at Emory Crawford Long turned into seven today. First they took Geri's blood and urine samples and we waited 90 mins. for the results to come back from the lab before they would start the saline drip. By about 2:00pm we were through, infusion needles removed from the ports, packed up and just about to leave when they decided they were a little concerned about Geri's bladder and wanted to give another batch of the bladder conditioner (thats an engineering description not a medical term) they had administered at the end of the chemo the previous four days. Consequently, we finally got out of there at about 4:15pm.
They have also arranged for a home visit by a nurse to infuse saline and bladder conditioner tomorrow and to train me to do a further saline infusion on Sunday (I guess all the nurses must go to church on Sundays).
Geri has been tired today from the chemo and I gave her the Neulasta shot for her bone marrow when we got home which may also make her bones ache for the next four days. Chemo is not for wimps.
Sister Cindy had a nice day shopping and got herself five pairs of shoes but didn't manage to find a nice purse in Phipps Plaza. We are so glad she is here to help, tomorrow we put her to work.
They have also arranged for a home visit by a nurse to infuse saline and bladder conditioner tomorrow and to train me to do a further saline infusion on Sunday (I guess all the nurses must go to church on Sundays).
Geri has been tired today from the chemo and I gave her the Neulasta shot for her bone marrow when we got home which may also make her bones ache for the next four days. Chemo is not for wimps.
Sister Cindy had a nice day shopping and got herself five pairs of shoes but didn't manage to find a nice purse in Phipps Plaza. We are so glad she is here to help, tomorrow we put her to work.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Round one - I win!
So today was the 4th and last day of my first round of chemo. I am still walking and talking and doing pretty well, so I think I won this one. I had peaks and valleys during the day, but the low spots were mainly fatigue and jitteryness from the steroids I think. A little stomach queeziness but nothing I could not handle. If fact, I even came home and cooked dinner (if you call baking fish and cooking veggies and potatoes in the microwave cooking). My neck is still a little sore from the clot (which Bob now gives a a shot every day) but I am finding pain pills can do magical things when you need them.
While no more chemo until Feb 26 there is a lot of time I have to be at the Clinic off and on. Evidently, one of the best ways to have an easier chemo is to stay hydrated and with the heavy doses of chemo I am getting, that is critical. I am going to go in tomorrow and get 2 liters of fluid which will take 3 hours. They will also send a home health nurse out over the weekend to give me IV fluids at home. If I am still feeing decent Monday morning, I go to Emory have a PET scan on the two inflamed lymph nodes to see what that is about, and then go to the clinic to run some blood test to see what all the various levels are doing -- I assume iron, potassium, white count etc. I know a few days after the chemo can be the roughest time, so I am braced for it but determined not to let it do me in. Sister Cindy is coming to help Bob manage me for a few days, and Sydney will also be here some over the weekend, so I know I will be in good hands. And hopefully, it will give Bob a break. Before last week, he could not find Publix without the aid of Mapquest, and now he knows where things are and on which isles. He does not know them quite as well as Home Depot, but he is getting there.
Thank you all for your amazing love, support and prayers! They are really helping me get through all this.
While no more chemo until Feb 26 there is a lot of time I have to be at the Clinic off and on. Evidently, one of the best ways to have an easier chemo is to stay hydrated and with the heavy doses of chemo I am getting, that is critical. I am going to go in tomorrow and get 2 liters of fluid which will take 3 hours. They will also send a home health nurse out over the weekend to give me IV fluids at home. If I am still feeing decent Monday morning, I go to Emory have a PET scan on the two inflamed lymph nodes to see what that is about, and then go to the clinic to run some blood test to see what all the various levels are doing -- I assume iron, potassium, white count etc. I know a few days after the chemo can be the roughest time, so I am braced for it but determined not to let it do me in. Sister Cindy is coming to help Bob manage me for a few days, and Sydney will also be here some over the weekend, so I know I will be in good hands. And hopefully, it will give Bob a break. Before last week, he could not find Publix without the aid of Mapquest, and now he knows where things are and on which isles. He does not know them quite as well as Home Depot, but he is getting there.
Thank you all for your amazing love, support and prayers! They are really helping me get through all this.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Late Wed Update
It has been a long day today, we didn't get home until 7:15pm. The ultrasound indicated some clotting in the vein in Geri's neck which will be treated by a series of subcutaneous injections of a blood thinner. I got to administer the first one just before we left the hospital tonight. The two liters of saline added to todays infusions have improved the bladder condition. With more saline drips tomorrow and drinking lots of fluids we hope we can keep that under control.
Geri is starting to feel the side effects of the chemo today, with low energy but luckily no nausea so far. Another long day of infusions tomorrow but then the tubes come out for a couple of weeks until we start again.
Geri is starting to feel the side effects of the chemo today, with low energy but luckily no nausea so far. Another long day of infusions tomorrow but then the tubes come out for a couple of weeks until we start again.
My relaxation place is ....where?
Last night agent friend Beth who is undergoing cancer surgery to (send good wishes to her too!) sent me some guided imagery, relaxation, hypno-therapy CD's. I was not feeling that good so I started listening to them before I went to sleep. They guide you to your relaxation place for serenity. If you know me, you know that is lying on the beach on the Gulf of Mexico. Well, I was there just long enough to start to feel the warmth of the sun, and I promise this is true. It just bleeped out. All of the sudden, I was no longer on the beach but I was checking email in my head. I kept trying to get back to the sand, but I kept getting pre-empted by my email. The sad truth is that may really be my relaxation place! Yikes - I need to get a life.
Day3 of 4 is a little tough. They are going to ultra sound my port as my neck started hurting more than normal last night, and they just want to make sure there is not clot there. So they will do that at 4. Having a little bladder difficulty so they are flushing a ton of fluids through me. May get some potassium in the morning since that is kind of low. Bob is here with me this morning, and Karen and Carolee (from MN) will be here to give Bob a break for a little while this afternoon. Bob will come back to get me to the ultrasound and last hour of chemo. Typically I come in and get a nausea drug for 20 minutes, then my first Chemo drug that last 3 hours. Then they have to wait 3 hours to give me the last 1 hour drug. I have another one that runs continuos that goes home with me at night. Tonight will the be last night for that in this session. It is hard to remember in the middle of the night that you have this thing hooked up to you so you trip all over the wires and yank it out. Bob has a whole medical waste cleanup and disposal manual in case that happens, so he will be as glad as I will after tonight.
Will try to update after the ultrasound.
Day3 of 4 is a little tough. They are going to ultra sound my port as my neck started hurting more than normal last night, and they just want to make sure there is not clot there. So they will do that at 4. Having a little bladder difficulty so they are flushing a ton of fluids through me. May get some potassium in the morning since that is kind of low. Bob is here with me this morning, and Karen and Carolee (from MN) will be here to give Bob a break for a little while this afternoon. Bob will come back to get me to the ultrasound and last hour of chemo. Typically I come in and get a nausea drug for 20 minutes, then my first Chemo drug that last 3 hours. Then they have to wait 3 hours to give me the last 1 hour drug. I have another one that runs continuos that goes home with me at night. Tonight will the be last night for that in this session. It is hard to remember in the middle of the night that you have this thing hooked up to you so you trip all over the wires and yank it out. Bob has a whole medical waste cleanup and disposal manual in case that happens, so he will be as glad as I will after tonight.
Will try to update after the ultrasound.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Tuesday 6th
Made it through Day 1 of chemo pretty easily. Even got a lot or work emails done and today I am going to do some auto and homeowers quoting. It is good therapy to keep to me busy and good for business too. After good news on the chest scans yesterday, I am up for anything. We will check out the Lymph nodes in a PET scan next Monday. Friend Mitzi (in picture), sister Sydney, and friend Susan are in shifts babysitting me today. I got my private room in the chemo ward again today. You have to get here early to get the prime spots, but I am the only 4 day patient they have this week. More later.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Monday 5Feb07
We got the results of the various scans from Friday this morning. Chest is clear, which is good news because lungs were most likely site of metastosis. A liver lesion was not thought to be significant but a couple of enlarged lymph nodes in the pelvic scan may or may not be a concern and require further testing to establish level of hostility. Overall, a reassuring result which lifted the heavy weight Geri had been carrying over the weekend.
Meanwhile, we are now hooked up to a two channel chemo drip, red (merlot) in one and clear (pinot grigio) in the other. We will be here 'till about 5:00pm, which will put us in peak rush hour traffic. Geri gets to take home a cute little black Gucci purse with an infusion pump inside for three day, 24 hour coverage.
Thank you all for the good wishes, prayers and encouragement. TTFN
Meanwhile, we are now hooked up to a two channel chemo drip, red (merlot) in one and clear (pinot grigio) in the other. We will be here 'till about 5:00pm, which will put us in peak rush hour traffic. Geri gets to take home a cute little black Gucci purse with an infusion pump inside for three day, 24 hour coverage.
Thank you all for the good wishes, prayers and encouragement. TTFN
Saturday, February 3, 2007
What I know for sure!
I was not going to put any more notes in here until I had test results which should be Monday. But I got a lot of pressure from some of you, and since I am not sure what kind of energy I will have after the first day of chemo, I decided to update a little.
Yesterday, a full day of scans, was really hard. It started early, 730 am, and if you know Atlanta you can't get anywhere by 730, so we actually left at 6:15 and got there at 7. There were a series of scans all day, and I spent most of the day lying still, not talking, which is a really hard thing for me. Bob waited patiently in the lobby. He has gotten into downloading books from the library on his MP3 player, so he "read" most of the day. We did have a lunch break together.
You have to lie still, generally for 10 minutes for each film, and it is really hard to keep your mind occupied. I started out counting, which was boring, and so then I counted ceiling tiles, but my field of vision was limited, so that ended quickly. I had done some things that were going to change my net pay in my paycheck on Friday, so I lay there trying to figure out, after taxes, etc. what my net pay check was going to be. I got within $55.49! Then, I went though each month and listed all the birthdays I knew in order. If I could not do the month in eact birthday order, I had to start all over again. Stimulating , huh?
If you've ever watched Oprah when she is interviewing a celebrity guest, she often asks them "What do you know for sure?" Now before we go any futher, Kendra, if you are reading this, I DVR Oprah sometimes. I am not home from work by 4pm watching it (not until now of course)! I've often wondered how I would answer that question. After all my doctors assuring me prior to the biopsy, there was no way "it" was maliginant, I questioned if I ever knew anything in my life for sure. That was an emotional period for me, and I hated where my head was going. I don't like being at pity parties very long thank goodness. I quickly realized what I do know for sure, is that I have a wonderful, loving caring husband, family and friends, who are working so hard to get me though this, and I thank you all so much for that.
Unfortunately, what I don't know is weighing pretty heavily upon me. I will not get the results of any of the scans till probably Monday and that is making for a long weekend. There is a lot to do to get ready for Monday and the first day of the first round of chemo, so that is keeping me occupied. But when it is time to go to sleep, the worst part of my imaginination takes over, and fortunately, Bob is here (and a couple of good sleeping pills) to reel me back in.
I spent today shopping for hospital appropriate pj's, as they may decide to admit me during some of the rougher days of my chemo sessions. Also, I needed some new "chemo clothes" that make my port easily accessible. I think after this is over, I will be able to hide my jewelry in that little pocket. Right now it just itches, and I have not really even looked at it yet. Remember, I do not have the Rosemore (maiden name for those of you fairly new in my life) medical gene.
Enough rambling for today. By the way, I think if you make a comment to the blog and do not sign up with google, it lists you as "anonymous". You may just want to put your name at the bottem of the blog so I will know who you are, unless you prefer it to be a mystery. By the way, Blogspot does give me editorial rights, so I get to see all comments first and can bleep things out if I think they should not be for public viewing. You who fit that category know who your are!
Keep me in your prayers for Monday!
Yesterday, a full day of scans, was really hard. It started early, 730 am, and if you know Atlanta you can't get anywhere by 730, so we actually left at 6:15 and got there at 7. There were a series of scans all day, and I spent most of the day lying still, not talking, which is a really hard thing for me. Bob waited patiently in the lobby. He has gotten into downloading books from the library on his MP3 player, so he "read" most of the day. We did have a lunch break together.
You have to lie still, generally for 10 minutes for each film, and it is really hard to keep your mind occupied. I started out counting, which was boring, and so then I counted ceiling tiles, but my field of vision was limited, so that ended quickly. I had done some things that were going to change my net pay in my paycheck on Friday, so I lay there trying to figure out, after taxes, etc. what my net pay check was going to be. I got within $55.49! Then, I went though each month and listed all the birthdays I knew in order. If I could not do the month in eact birthday order, I had to start all over again. Stimulating , huh?
If you've ever watched Oprah when she is interviewing a celebrity guest, she often asks them "What do you know for sure?" Now before we go any futher, Kendra, if you are reading this, I DVR Oprah sometimes. I am not home from work by 4pm watching it (not until now of course)! I've often wondered how I would answer that question. After all my doctors assuring me prior to the biopsy, there was no way "it" was maliginant, I questioned if I ever knew anything in my life for sure. That was an emotional period for me, and I hated where my head was going. I don't like being at pity parties very long thank goodness. I quickly realized what I do know for sure, is that I have a wonderful, loving caring husband, family and friends, who are working so hard to get me though this, and I thank you all so much for that.
Unfortunately, what I don't know is weighing pretty heavily upon me. I will not get the results of any of the scans till probably Monday and that is making for a long weekend. There is a lot to do to get ready for Monday and the first day of the first round of chemo, so that is keeping me occupied. But when it is time to go to sleep, the worst part of my imaginination takes over, and fortunately, Bob is here (and a couple of good sleeping pills) to reel me back in.
I spent today shopping for hospital appropriate pj's, as they may decide to admit me during some of the rougher days of my chemo sessions. Also, I needed some new "chemo clothes" that make my port easily accessible. I think after this is over, I will be able to hide my jewelry in that little pocket. Right now it just itches, and I have not really even looked at it yet. Remember, I do not have the Rosemore (maiden name for those of you fairly new in my life) medical gene.
Enough rambling for today. By the way, I think if you make a comment to the blog and do not sign up with google, it lists you as "anonymous". You may just want to put your name at the bottem of the blog so I will know who you are, unless you prefer it to be a mystery. By the way, Blogspot does give me editorial rights, so I get to see all comments first and can bleep things out if I think they should not be for public viewing. You who fit that category know who your are!
Keep me in your prayers for Monday!
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Medical Update
Monday I passed one hurdle with the clean endometrial biopsy result. On Wednesday, had a Muga Scan which really just measures heart performance as a baseline before the chemo starts. And today, I got my double port installed. Not a fun procedure but the drugs were good! Bob says they are dual port so I can I have a choice between Merlot and Chardonnay! I get the full body checked out tomorrow which is the thing I am most anxious about. I should have the results on Monday before I begin my first chemo cycle. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
(They call it a 'Port' but it actually went in on the Starboard side - Bob)
(They call it a 'Port' but it actually went in on the Starboard side - Bob)
Happy Birthday To Me
Wednesday night Susan, Lori, Karen, Gloria, and Paula took me out for a wonderful Italian dinner at Sugo. After we ordered and before dinner arrive, to my surprise gifts to make my journey easier. The gifts included a tiara, wand and lei, (recognizing the "princess" I am), magazines and puzzle books (for mental exercise), cashmere knit cap and gloves (to keep my future bald head warm) and Hershey's Chocolate Kisses (for obvious reason). All were presented in lovely gift bags, and they seemed to be never ending and so thoughtful.
We had incredible meal and a little after dinner drink which put all in a festive mood. Our delightful waitress, upon seeing the gift bags, make an incorrect assumption, and the next thing we know she appears with two scoops of ice cream and a birthday candle. We were all dumbfounded and no one new what to do but sing "Happy Birthday". In fact, the waitress, a trained opera soprano also sang a solo birthday rendition in Italian loud enough (and beautiful I might add) for the whole restaurant to hear. Consequently, every customer passing our table also wished me a Happy Birthday. We giggled the whole way home!
We had incredible meal and a little after dinner drink which put all in a festive mood. Our delightful waitress, upon seeing the gift bags, make an incorrect assumption, and the next thing we know she appears with two scoops of ice cream and a birthday candle. We were all dumbfounded and no one new what to do but sing "Happy Birthday". In fact, the waitress, a trained opera soprano also sang a solo birthday rendition in Italian loud enough (and beautiful I might add) for the whole restaurant to hear. Consequently, every customer passing our table also wished me a Happy Birthday. We giggled the whole way home!
Way Too Much Drama For Me
While I have never done a Christmas letter, I always love getting them. But I had so many people I care so much about that I wanted to tell what is going on and this was the best way I knew to do it. Some of you already know about this, so if it is repetitive, sorry – just skip over parts you have already heard.
I learned this Wednesday, that the mass on the back of my right thigh is a malignant tumor, cyst, whatever. It is aggressive and the typical treatment is aggressive, but it is not going to kill me. It will make me pretty miserable for a while.
Things are moving rather quickly, and even though I knew they would, I am still surprised. At least 4 Chemo treatments and maybe some radiation will happen before surgery. I think the intent is to shrink the tumor, and isolate it more, creating easy margins to cut by, and of course, stop the cells from spreading. I met with the Chemo oncologist yesterday. The thing that threw me for a loop is not that chemo will be every 21 days, but that each treatment will last 4 days, and for most of each day. Some do it “in patient”, but I am trying not to go that route. So I start Monday, Feb 5 at 9 am. I go in Mon, Tues, Wed & Thursday. On Friday, the 5th day you go in for a shot (preventive maintenance for your immune system), and or you can do it yourself at home. I missed the Rosemore family “medical” gene, but Bob seems to have it. I am pretty sure I can give myself an injection if I have to. Also, there are at least a half a dozen nurses in my neighborhood, and my own family doc is a couple of miles away if I need him to inject me. Bob always seems really involved in watching a lot of surgical shows on some cable channel, and he was terrific in rebandaging me (which was every couple of hours, all night long) after the biopsy. However, I kidded him that he took a little too much pleasure in ripping off the adhesive tape. I finally went out and bought on the ouchless kind.
So I am spending this weekend wrapping up some critical work things and getting myself all set up to be able to work easily from home, doing cooking and freezing, getting personal stuff like taxes, bill paying, closet and drawer cleaning done, just so I really have an idea of where everything really is in the house for expediency. And I guess I am nesting a little. I am going to have a few normal work days (or at least “hours” some days) next week. In between, I have a zillion doctor’s appointments for all sorts of scans, etc on various days. On Thursday they put in my “port”, the little plug that they can give me IV fluids including the chemo and draw blood from so they don’t have to dig into my veins every day with a needle. And Friday is an all day full body scan procedure and some other scans, I guess whatever there is left to scan!
So of course, I am going to lose my hair, in probably 10 days to 2 weeks after the first treatment, so I figure somewhere between the 20th of Feb and the end of the month. Today, I am going to go in for my last haircut for a while and cut it a good bit shorter to get going. I may even go wig shopping. I’ve never told Bob how much a haircut cost me, as I knew one was more than he spent all year on haircuts! But I slipped up yesterday (must have pre-chemo brain) and said “Wow! I am going to save $xxx on haircuts and twice as much on color!” He about had a stroke when he heard the amount. The question I have in my mind now is, that if you don’t have hair, do you just wash your head in the shower with soap or shampoo? And if it is shampoo, do you use crème rinse? So if you know the answer to that let me know! I am little freaked out about the hair thing, but I have complained about hair so much of my life I sort of knew chemo was inevitable. Maybe it will grow back a little straighter. I have been trying on hats and caps and stuffing my hair up in them. I have never had to draw in eyebrows before, so I may hit the make up counter today too. I think you can even get eyebrow stencils. Again, Bob is pretty artistic so he may be in charge of drawing in eyebrows too! The salvation here is going to have to be cute caps and absolutely fab earrings! Nails are important too, and my manicurist has already agreed to come here for manicures if I can’t get out!
I am going to try to be as productive as I can during this whole thing, without adding a lot of stress. Most of you know me well enough to know, work is a “labor of love” for me. How lucky I am to have a job for 25 years that I truly love. I am hoping that during the non chemo weeks I will be able to travel some for work, and certainly work from home. But my 4 chemo days, I am hoping to spend a lot of bonding time with Bob, family and friends. I am tied to a chair so I can’t go too far, and I don’t want to just watch movies all the time. So I will be talking, if I feel like it! There are not many times in my life I have not felt like talking! Unfortunately, the chemo area is not wired for internet access, although I can’t help but think I can find some network out there to plug into! So if you are ever in the Crawford Long Hospital area, drop by for a chat on my chemo weeks! I think they will be (so far) Mon – Thurs, beginning Feb 5, Feb 26, Mar 19, and Apr 9 for the first 4 anyway. Hopefully they can do surgery after that and maybe even skip radiation if all goes well. The surgery is the easy piece. They tumor is, so far, not connected to anything. It is in fatty tissue (finally something good about fat) and is pressing against a muscle, but not invading it, my hamstring, or anything. Compared to everything else, surgery will be like a haircut, but a way more expensive haircut!
I don’t mean to sound so “light” and comedic about all this, but that is how I generally deal with most things. I am not without emotional outbursts and short periods of sobbing, so I am taking this very seriously. I am still pretty much in shock because no one thought (not one doctor) this would be malignant. I know reality will kick in at some point, but I do think attitude is at least 50% of recovery, and I can have some control over that. Unless something way weird shows up in the scans, I will recover from this with a 60 to 70% chance of it not recurring. It is going to be a miserable 6 to 9 months probably, but I am otherwise really healthy and I am going to try to do more things to improve. I have a LA Fitness membership that as been sitting there dormant for a few years. There will be things I can do there to strengthen some when I feel like it. So if you visit me at home, and I am up for it, plan on going for a walk at least. I am planning on really being fit when I finally walk back on to a tennis court. Losing weight wii probably be a little easier too. So once that happens and my hair comes back, I am going the hottest 52 year old around!
I am incredibly lucky to have an such wonderfully supportive family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, business associates (who are friends too). I have already had a ton of calls from many of you offering to sit with me during chemo, run errands etc. I couldn’t feel more loved, supported and appreciated by all of you. I am going to have to set up a reservation hotline so I can keep track of whose coming and going. Growing up I thought having 3 younger sisters and a brother were nothing but a pain, but boy they are there when you need them! I knew early in adulthood I could never get along without them, and though I don’t tell them that much, I think they know that. Bob has been truly amazing. I am not sure he quite yet realizes how this is going to affect his life, and I have to figure out how to not take advantage of him (too much anyway), but we can muddle though that.
You are important to me too, and so I wanted to let you know what is going on. I guess this is something of “form email” but please don’t be offended and know that it is still from the heart. I wanted to find a way to reach as many of you as I could as quickly as I could. I love you all!
Love,
Geri
PS I really am going to be ok!
I learned this Wednesday, that the mass on the back of my right thigh is a malignant tumor, cyst, whatever. It is aggressive and the typical treatment is aggressive, but it is not going to kill me. It will make me pretty miserable for a while.
Things are moving rather quickly, and even though I knew they would, I am still surprised. At least 4 Chemo treatments and maybe some radiation will happen before surgery. I think the intent is to shrink the tumor, and isolate it more, creating easy margins to cut by, and of course, stop the cells from spreading. I met with the Chemo oncologist yesterday. The thing that threw me for a loop is not that chemo will be every 21 days, but that each treatment will last 4 days, and for most of each day. Some do it “in patient”, but I am trying not to go that route. So I start Monday, Feb 5 at 9 am. I go in Mon, Tues, Wed & Thursday. On Friday, the 5th day you go in for a shot (preventive maintenance for your immune system), and or you can do it yourself at home. I missed the Rosemore family “medical” gene, but Bob seems to have it. I am pretty sure I can give myself an injection if I have to. Also, there are at least a half a dozen nurses in my neighborhood, and my own family doc is a couple of miles away if I need him to inject me. Bob always seems really involved in watching a lot of surgical shows on some cable channel, and he was terrific in rebandaging me (which was every couple of hours, all night long) after the biopsy. However, I kidded him that he took a little too much pleasure in ripping off the adhesive tape. I finally went out and bought on the ouchless kind.
So I am spending this weekend wrapping up some critical work things and getting myself all set up to be able to work easily from home, doing cooking and freezing, getting personal stuff like taxes, bill paying, closet and drawer cleaning done, just so I really have an idea of where everything really is in the house for expediency. And I guess I am nesting a little. I am going to have a few normal work days (or at least “hours” some days) next week. In between, I have a zillion doctor’s appointments for all sorts of scans, etc on various days. On Thursday they put in my “port”, the little plug that they can give me IV fluids including the chemo and draw blood from so they don’t have to dig into my veins every day with a needle. And Friday is an all day full body scan procedure and some other scans, I guess whatever there is left to scan!
So of course, I am going to lose my hair, in probably 10 days to 2 weeks after the first treatment, so I figure somewhere between the 20th of Feb and the end of the month. Today, I am going to go in for my last haircut for a while and cut it a good bit shorter to get going. I may even go wig shopping. I’ve never told Bob how much a haircut cost me, as I knew one was more than he spent all year on haircuts! But I slipped up yesterday (must have pre-chemo brain) and said “Wow! I am going to save $xxx on haircuts and twice as much on color!” He about had a stroke when he heard the amount. The question I have in my mind now is, that if you don’t have hair, do you just wash your head in the shower with soap or shampoo? And if it is shampoo, do you use crème rinse? So if you know the answer to that let me know! I am little freaked out about the hair thing, but I have complained about hair so much of my life I sort of knew chemo was inevitable. Maybe it will grow back a little straighter. I have been trying on hats and caps and stuffing my hair up in them. I have never had to draw in eyebrows before, so I may hit the make up counter today too. I think you can even get eyebrow stencils. Again, Bob is pretty artistic so he may be in charge of drawing in eyebrows too! The salvation here is going to have to be cute caps and absolutely fab earrings! Nails are important too, and my manicurist has already agreed to come here for manicures if I can’t get out!
I am going to try to be as productive as I can during this whole thing, without adding a lot of stress. Most of you know me well enough to know, work is a “labor of love” for me. How lucky I am to have a job for 25 years that I truly love. I am hoping that during the non chemo weeks I will be able to travel some for work, and certainly work from home. But my 4 chemo days, I am hoping to spend a lot of bonding time with Bob, family and friends. I am tied to a chair so I can’t go too far, and I don’t want to just watch movies all the time. So I will be talking, if I feel like it! There are not many times in my life I have not felt like talking! Unfortunately, the chemo area is not wired for internet access, although I can’t help but think I can find some network out there to plug into! So if you are ever in the Crawford Long Hospital area, drop by for a chat on my chemo weeks! I think they will be (so far) Mon – Thurs, beginning Feb 5, Feb 26, Mar 19, and Apr 9 for the first 4 anyway. Hopefully they can do surgery after that and maybe even skip radiation if all goes well. The surgery is the easy piece. They tumor is, so far, not connected to anything. It is in fatty tissue (finally something good about fat) and is pressing against a muscle, but not invading it, my hamstring, or anything. Compared to everything else, surgery will be like a haircut, but a way more expensive haircut!
I don’t mean to sound so “light” and comedic about all this, but that is how I generally deal with most things. I am not without emotional outbursts and short periods of sobbing, so I am taking this very seriously. I am still pretty much in shock because no one thought (not one doctor) this would be malignant. I know reality will kick in at some point, but I do think attitude is at least 50% of recovery, and I can have some control over that. Unless something way weird shows up in the scans, I will recover from this with a 60 to 70% chance of it not recurring. It is going to be a miserable 6 to 9 months probably, but I am otherwise really healthy and I am going to try to do more things to improve. I have a LA Fitness membership that as been sitting there dormant for a few years. There will be things I can do there to strengthen some when I feel like it. So if you visit me at home, and I am up for it, plan on going for a walk at least. I am planning on really being fit when I finally walk back on to a tennis court. Losing weight wii probably be a little easier too. So once that happens and my hair comes back, I am going the hottest 52 year old around!
I am incredibly lucky to have an such wonderfully supportive family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, business associates (who are friends too). I have already had a ton of calls from many of you offering to sit with me during chemo, run errands etc. I couldn’t feel more loved, supported and appreciated by all of you. I am going to have to set up a reservation hotline so I can keep track of whose coming and going. Growing up I thought having 3 younger sisters and a brother were nothing but a pain, but boy they are there when you need them! I knew early in adulthood I could never get along without them, and though I don’t tell them that much, I think they know that. Bob has been truly amazing. I am not sure he quite yet realizes how this is going to affect his life, and I have to figure out how to not take advantage of him (too much anyway), but we can muddle though that.
You are important to me too, and so I wanted to let you know what is going on. I guess this is something of “form email” but please don’t be offended and know that it is still from the heart. I wanted to find a way to reach as many of you as I could as quickly as I could. I love you all!
Love,
Geri
PS I really am going to be ok!
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