What I know for sure!

I was not going to put any more notes in here until I had test results which should be Monday. But I got a lot of pressure from some of you, and since I am not sure what kind of energy I will have after the first day of chemo, I decided to update a little.

Yesterday, a full day of scans, was really hard. It started early, 730 am, and if you know Atlanta you can't get anywhere by 730, so we actually left at 6:15 and got there at 7. There were a series of scans all day, and I spent most of the day lying still, not talking, which is a really hard thing for me. Bob waited patiently in the lobby. He has gotten into downloading books from the library on his MP3 player, so he "read" most of the day. We did have a lunch break together.

You have to lie still, generally for 10 minutes for each film, and it is really hard to keep your mind occupied. I started out counting, which was boring, and so then I counted ceiling tiles, but my field of vision was limited, so that ended quickly. I had done some things that were going to change my net pay in my paycheck on Friday, so I lay there trying to figure out, after taxes, etc. what my net pay check was going to be. I got within $55.49! Then, I went though each month and listed all the birthdays I knew in order. If I could not do the month in eact birthday order, I had to start all over again. Stimulating , huh?

If you've ever watched Oprah when she is interviewing a celebrity guest, she often asks them "What do you know for sure?" Now before we go any futher, Kendra, if you are reading this, I DVR Oprah sometimes. I am not home from work by 4pm watching it (not until now of course)! I've often wondered how I would answer that question. After all my doctors assuring me prior to the biopsy, there was no way "it" was maliginant, I questioned if I ever knew anything in my life for sure. That was an emotional period for me, and I hated where my head was going. I don't like being at pity parties very long thank goodness. I quickly realized what I do know for sure, is that I have a wonderful, loving caring husband, family and friends, who are working so hard to get me though this, and I thank you all so much for that.

Unfortunately, what I don't know is weighing pretty heavily upon me. I will not get the results of any of the scans till probably Monday and that is making for a long weekend. There is a lot to do to get ready for Monday and the first day of the first round of chemo, so that is keeping me occupied. But when it is time to go to sleep, the worst part of my imaginination takes over, and fortunately, Bob is here (and a couple of good sleeping pills) to reel me back in.

I spent today shopping for hospital appropriate pj's, as they may decide to admit me during some of the rougher days of my chemo sessions. Also, I needed some new "chemo clothes" that make my port easily accessible. I think after this is over, I will be able to hide my jewelry in that little pocket. Right now it just itches, and I have not really even looked at it yet. Remember, I do not have the Rosemore (maiden name for those of you fairly new in my life) medical gene.

Enough rambling for today. By the way, I think if you make a comment to the blog and do not sign up with google, it lists you as "anonymous". You may just want to put your name at the bottem of the blog so I will know who you are, unless you prefer it to be a mystery. By the way, Blogspot does give me editorial rights, so I get to see all comments first and can bleep things out if I think they should not be for public viewing. You who fit that category know who your are!
Keep me in your prayers for Monday!