I got to help

Sorry for not blogging all weekend, but it was not a great one. I have not been sleeping that well (but I have new drugs today) and just stayed tired and nauseated all weekend. I am bouncing back a little today and with some food and sleep, I am hoping for a better tomorrow.

I went to the clinic to check my counts today, and they decided to give me some fluids. No matter what I do my potassium levels just don't stay up. They've double the amount of potassium I take orally now, so I hope that will help. I go back Wednesday for more counts and they will give me some for fluids then for a couple of hours.

For the last two weeks, since they fever, I have felt pretty usless, helpless and way too dependent (some might throw in "demanding" too!), but it is was out of my control. Today I got to actually help someone else which felt so good. I think I told you normally, I am in private room where I set up my Hanover office in the chemo center. I got in there late today as I was not expecting to have to stay, nor did I even bring my laptop, so I sat in more of a 'general public' area. I met a woman, who was probably mid 60's. She had had a mascetomy a month ago and was starting chemo today. She really had an amazing attitude but was in the dark about a lot of things. She knew she was going to lose her hair but did not know how to go about getting a wig (she also did not know about "cranial perscriptions"), things she'd need, what to expect from chemo, etc. It was great to talk to her, share some experiences, and give her some advice. And, she was a great inspiration to me as well! It felt good to give back a little!

And because I was feeling so much better, Bob drove me to Publix, and I went in for a few minutes. That has been my first public outing in more that 2 weeks. I used bacteria wipes all over the place. The idea of food has been making me sick, but I knew I had to find something I wanted to eat. At this point they think anything I eat is ok, but I was trying to be a little better than that. I have now lost 18 pounds (looking good, feeling bad), and I do not know whether to be thrilled or alarmed. When the sisters visit this week they will be jealous! I decided I could buy what ever I wanted to eat, which I have never done - well not a lot anyway. I can't wait to look back on this list in a year and see how crazy it was ---top of the list - Kraft Mac & Cheese - original version (been craving it for days), whole milk Mayfield Cottage cheese (never bought anything more than 2% milk), 4 cans of chick peas (protein right), fresh artichoke, and spicy gum drops (impulse purchase -never bought them before).

The "Rosemore invasion" starts tomorrow and continues with a tag team of siblings through Sunday. It really will give Bob a good break and after the last couple of weeks, he needs it!