Ok today

I got through the whole day without being mad, weepy, etc even though so many of you let me know it was ok for me to feel that way. I had been concerned about taking so many pain pills (by my standards anyway) and the Cigna (my health insurance company) case manager really aleviated those concerns, so I am not trying to hoard them or ween myself off them when I am hurting. They do not affect my ability to function (in a bad way) but help me feel good enough to carry on throughout the day with some normal activity - well at least get out of bed lately.

Tonight was the first time I have had dinner downstairs in more than a few weeks. Most of the time I just didn't feel good enough, and the last several nights I was just tied to the IV since it comes right at dinner time. But we got through by 7:30, and I got to have dinner with Bob like a normal married couple. I felt good enough to do dishes (there were not a lot) and fold laundry. And on the way home from the surgeon, we stopped at Publix, and I actually shopped. I learned that men have to be "taught" how to buy paper products. They kind of buy enough for the moment, and I get enough for the month. Bob has mastered so many things in last several months, that "paper products" was a no brainer, and he got it after just one lesson today.
Hopefully through radiation I will continue to feel pretty good and once I get a little more energy back I may be able to take over Publix duty full time till surgery in early to mid July.

The (port) surgeon thought things were healing well, but it would take a couple more weeks at least. The wound Home Health folks will come out for a few more days before they turn the job over to Bob full time. It still hurts and repacking the wound hurts worse. As it heals, it needs less packing, so I hope each day gets a little better. In the meantime, I will be taking the pain pills just before wound packing time.

I have not talked about hair in a while because I did n0t want to jinx anything. I still have brows and lashes, although not all of them. My head is getting really sensitive and I can tell the hair is starting to grow back a little. I even have a little stubble on my legs. The problem is that in early May it is already too hot for a wig much of the time and even hats, caps and scarves make me sweat. I am not sure I have the guts for the Sinead O'Conner look but I may have to try it out in a few places -- Publix? But then you have to worry about sunburn too. What a pain!

Tomorrow we have a 9am appointment at Emory for a CT scan to get ready for radiation. Normally we do an 1 1/2 to 2 hour IV infusion of antibiotics at 6am. That will not give us enought time to get dressed after and get to Emory during rush hour. So we are going to have to start at 5am. We are going to do the midnight one tonight at 11:30 so we can get some sleep, but tomorrow is going to be hard - at least the morning. We have to be home by noon so we can do the noon IV. And the wound guy comes about 1:30pm. This IV thing is really an inconvenience and scheduling is next to impossible. If I was not able to work from home and if Bob did not work for himself, I do not know how we would handle this. And to make matters worse, my Palm Pilot has quit syncing with my laptop (and I have not felt well enough to figure out the problem yet) so I am really confused about where to be and when, but Bob keeps me straight. That heavens for Bob!