Not me this time

I spent most of the day yesterday in a hospital but it was not me this time. My niece Zola, 13, had an emergency appendectomy last night. Luckily, she is doing pretty good, but is running a little fever and will have to stay in the hospital one more day. Sister Sydney called me yesterday morning from the ER. I was at an appointment and did not get there until around 2pm thinking they would have probably taken her into surgery before I got there. They did not get the poor kid in until almost 6pm last night. I know she was just miserable lying there but she was a very brave. We thought the surgery would only take 30 to 45 minutes, so an hour and a half later we were all pretty nervous. Somehow there was a screw up and the doctor did not come out and talk to Syd and Jim (Zola's parents) after the surgery was finished. They had taken her straight to recovery and assumed, I guess, her parents were in Zola's hospital room. We were all in the surgical waiting area where the techs told us to wait. Anyway, Syd did call the nurses station and found out Zola had just arrived in her room. Poor thing -- she wanted her mother who was waiting for her in another area of the hospital. She is doing fine but it just breaks your heart to see that little thing with the IV's etc. While we were waiting, I kept saying to Syd, "This is taking too long, where are they, what is going on etc." She would kind of look at me and laugh and say "See -- this is what all we went through while we were waiting for you to come out of surgery and procedures all this year". I guess during surgery, it is easier to be the patient. You are asleep and everyone is worried about you. Afterwards, I am not so sure.

I am feeling much better. My discomfort is a lot less and my energy is slowly coming back. By the end of the day, I am pretty beat and have little sinking spells thoughout the day, but it is greatly improved. After our trip to England, I should have time to fully recoup and be ready to get into back into work full force. I am working for home some this week although it is generally paperwork and email. This is always a slow week anyway!

Bob and I had a quiet Christmas day, and joined friends for dinner at our neighbors the Tousets which was fun. I will work today and later get Bob to help me install and learn to work my new GPS system Santa brought. I will need that driving around south Georgia in a few weeks. I could have used it trying to navigate the halls of the hospital in Gainesville last night!

We hope you all have a wonderful happy, healthy New Year. We are excited about starting a great new 2008 and wish all the best for you all! Probably no more blogs till 2008!

Good report

Dr. Miller was still shaking his head in amazement as he walked into the patient room
I was waiting in today. He said he sees about 30 sarcoma patients a year who have lesions on their lungs. I was the only one he's had in the last 10 years (out of 300) where the cancer had not spread. I continue to feel like the luckiest person on earth. I think he was surprised when I told him I was ready to go back to work. I think he probably thought maybe the first of the year but we settled on next Monday, Dec 24. He kept looking at me like I was crazy for wanting to go back so early, especially Christmas Eve. I promised I would really just be working out of the house for a few days till we are off to England. He was fine with the trip and gave me a prescription for what he thought was enough pain medicine to get me through it. We are going to try to use Advil or Aleve as a substitute every other time I need it to wean me off. I have to admit I am just used to reaching for a strong pain killer for everything and probably am able to take lesser doses of the heavy stuff. So I am going to try to just use the hydrocodone at night, and of course on the plane.

I found myself getting pretty weepy this week, and I am not sure why. Occasionally I find myself reflecting back over the year, and while I am so grateful for the outcome, it is very disturbing when I think back on all that happened. I have not gone back and read the blog as I just don't think I want to relive a day by day account of everything just yet. Last night
I starting sorting through some things on my desk to get back into the spirit of working. I found my friend Nancy's "story" and had to read it again. Nancy was on the 44th floor of one the World Trade Center towers on Sept 11, 2001. She, thank heavens, was one of the fortunate ones who made it out. When I read through her account of that day again, it made me feel like my ordeal was nothing. While I could do nothing but sob through her "story", when I started thinking about mine, I was all smiles. Sometimes you just have to put things in perspective.

While I am not officially not back at work till Monday, I am going into the office tomorrow to do a couple of quick things and enjoy a holiday lunch with Donna, who has helped me through so much this year. Sometime tomorrow I have to get a pneumonia shot -- doctor's orders!

Other than that I have one or two errands to run before we are off to England. In the meantime, I am just healing and appreciative to be where I am!

Staying in touch

There is not a whole lot new to report. I am on different pain meds now - hydrocodone. I can't tell any significant difference in how I feel on this vs the Oxycodone. I believe the new drug is a ""lesser" drug, and I know I do not need a hard copy of the prescription to refill. I was feeling kind of bummed out as I am still as uncomfortable as I have been for the last few weeks. But if this is a "lesser" drug, then perhaps I am better since I am not taking as strong a drug? Does that make sense?

I have a couple of weeks before I need to feel (want to feel) significantly better for our trip to England. Sitting on the plane shoud not really be a problem, but I want to be more active than I have been once we get there. As it stands now, I do things for a couple of hours, then I need a rest. Very boring. We are going to try to go to 2 Christmas parties tonight. I am hoping to be able to last a couple of hours at each. It will be good practice!

I see Dr. Miller on Wednesday. They will xray my lungs first so he can see just what is going on. I am pretty sure my pain is just from having my ribs pulled apart and then cutting me open and taking a couple of chunks out (pleasant, huh?). I will be glad for him to take a look and let me know that I am healing ok and this is just part of getting over surgery. I really want to be released to go back to work -- at least from home since I am probably not ready for a full day of driving around yet. So hopefully, by the time I get back from England that will have been about 7 weeks and should be long enough for me to feel a whole lot better.

I have a full month in January after we get back-- work trips to Boston, Nashville, and St. Simons Island so I am ready to hit the ground running! My body better cooperate.

I will have my 6 month leg MRI with Doc O on January 18 and am a little nervous about that. The appointment just got set up yesterday so it is in the front of my mind. With the holidays, work and our trip, I am sure I will forget about it for a while. Worrying really does no good anyway and is just a waste of time -- that is what I keep minding myself anyway.

Two friends, Peggy and Constance, just got diagnosed with cancer. I can't really get them off my mind, and I keep trying to think of ways I can help them and their families. I can only hope I can provide even a small bit of the emotional support and prayers all of you have provided me. You helped me get through really bleak periods of time and kept my spirits and attitude going in the right direction. That is so much more powerful than you will ever know. If you have some extra room in your prayers, please keep them in mind.

I am going to try to do a little paperwork and finish up the last couple of errands I need to run for our trip and Christmas. Have a good weekend. I will post again after my visit to Dr. Miller on Wednesday.

I realized tonight I had not blogged for a couple of days. There is really nothing new. I am still
pretty uncomfortable. I am better about 45 minutes after I take the pain medication, but start aching again about 3.5 hours into it. I can take the medicine every 4 hours. With some pain meds, including mine, the pharmacy needs a hard copy of the prescription to refill it. The doctor cannot just call it in. Today I realized I would run out over the weekend. Hopefully, I will be better by then, but I just can't count on that. When I needed to refill last
Wednesday, Dr. Miller's secretary said she could not get him to sign the prescription until after 1:30pm as he is in surgery till then. I was going to be at Crawford Long seeing Dr. Saba at 11am but I did not want to hang around till 1:30. First I asked if she could just mail it to me. She said their mail goes to two different places before it actually gets mailed, and it would take a few days before it would even get out of the buidling. She was concerned that I would be out of drugs before I got the prescription. That is a heck of a way to do business isn' t it. If I had been her (I hope) I would have just put a stamp on it and dropped it in a mailbox somewhere-- to heck with hospital mailrooms, but I guess they do not think that way. I ended up just getting Dr. Saba to write the prescription. So, trying to plan ahead, I called Dr. Miller's office today hoping if they went ahead and me the prescription, knowing their crappy mail system, I would have it by the time I needed it later in the week when I run out.

Dr. Miller's nurse, Melissa, who I have not met, called me back today. She told me my records indicated I had gotten a prescription from Dr. Saba last week, and I should not be out yet. I told her that was true, how many he gave me and that I was just trying to get ahead of the game and not run out over the weekend. I was really hoping I would not need them by then, or maybe I would just need a lesser drug but I was just planning ahead. I know she did not mean to, but I did feel like I was having to defend myself like I was a druggie or something. I think after I told her about my understanding of their mailroom system, she understood I was not a junkie downing percoset every 15 minutes. However, the resolution was that on Friday I am to call her early in the day and she would order a different pain medication for me -- one that did not require a hard copy prescription. I am not sure why I have to go the extra steps, but it is "my pain" and I will do so. It seems to me she could just call it into the pharmacy to be issued on Friday and not before, but what do I know. I am just the patient (with no patience I guess).

Thursday I am going to find out the true meaning of "Misery loves company". Janet, a friend and business associate is also recovering from an illness and going through similar pain issues. She lives only a couple of miles from here. Like me, she feels pretty miserable, and she is bored out of her mind too. So on Thursday, I am going to go over to her house, and we are going to just lay around and recoup together. It will be nice to see her and while I hate that she is going through this, it will be fun to spend time with her both knowing what the other is going through to a degree. No makeup, no wig, no nothing. I may even take my Pj's and slippers for a nap.

I try to get out and run at least one errand every day. It gets me out of the bed and makes me get up and get my lungs working. I have to time it just right in the pain pill cycle or I get into trouble. I am not doing anything exciting--just going to Publix, Target etc. Today Susan and I went to Costco. I thought it was going to be a major undertaking but we timed it just right. Did you know you can actually get in and out of Costco in under 30 minutes and spend less than $50. I never knew that was even possible! I needed to get somespecific underthings because of my incision, and after checking a half a dozen other places, everyone kept referring me back to Costco. I accomplished my mission and left with exactly what I needed. The only extra thing I got was a bunch of socks. It certainly was the quickest and cheapest Costco trip ever. Having a handicapped sticker does help and keeps parking from being too much of an issue.

Now that I have bored you with the details of my last couple of days I will sign off. I just wanted you to know I was ok and am keeping the blog alive for a little bit longer. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Freedom till March

I was so happy to hear Dr. Saba say today"See you in March". That may not seem so far away to most people, but the idea that I am sort of "free from worry" till March is amazing to me. He was really pleased about the outcome of my surgery and that the chemo evidently worked. In March, I will have CT scans on my lungs again and sometime around then Doc O will order a scan on my leg. In the meantime, all I have to do is heal and have a normal life! He heard a little fluid around my lower right lung but since I have no fever he was not concerned. I think it does mean I need to be moving more, so I was up and moving around most of the day today. I am headed to Publix (by myself) tomorrow if I can, but can only buy really light things since I can't lift much. So I will do a little "light" shopping and go for short walks in the neighborhood. I may even get my nails done!

I am still hurting a good bit but got a new batch of pain meds today. Susan took me out running errands with her today for a while this afternoon and that was a good way to get me moving. By 5:30 this afternoon I was beat.

I am trying to do a little holiday shopping via the internet. We cannot take much over to England as we have a comuter flight with weight restrictions from London down to Cornwall where Bob's mother lives. That makes it really hard to bring gifts so we will shop once we get there. And that really is a shame since prices are much better here and the value of the dollar to the British pound is just awful.

Other than that I am just trying to heal and get better. Hopefully that will not take much longer, and I can get back to work soon. I have not had the ability to concentrate and read all this time, and I am really missing that. I have a long list of books so I am going to try to get started on that and see how I do. I have no other doctors appmts till Dec 19 so there should really be no news till then. I do promise to keep blogging every few days to keep you up to date my progress. I hope it does not get too boring for you to read -- actually, I hope it is the most boring thing you ever read. Boring is good!

Hanging in there

Each day seems to get a little better but I am still pretty uncomfortable. I've worked my way through the real heavy duty pain medication. They only gave me about 5 days of that along with what they call "break through" pain medicine. You take that along with the heavy duty stuff for when that is not enough and for after heavy duty stuff is gone the "break through" is what you take for regular pain meds. I am not sure what I was thinking, but I hoped I would only need one prescription of that. Boy was I wrong! I am going to see my chemo onocologist Dr. Saba tomorrow, so I am hoping he will just refill it. If not we will have to go over to Dr. Miller's office and pick up a prescription.

As you may remember, I saw Dr. Saba after I got the PET scan results. He told me I could wait a couple of months to have the lung surgery if I wanted, but that we would not know what the lesions were till they were surgically removed and biopsied. When he knew I was having the surgery, he told me to set up an appointment with him for a week after surgery. I suppose this was to set up post surgical treatment, if necessary. At that point we would be discussing if I would need more chemo, radiation etc. While I was in the hospital, one of the nurses, Marva, from the chemo center came to visit. She brought Dr. Saba's new Nurse Practioner, Felicia with her. It was so nice of them to come and see me. I asked Felicia if it was still necessary for me to see Dr. Saba after surgery since the lesions were not malignant, and she felt it was still a good idea. I am assuming the only "treatment" is going to be repeated CT scans every three months to make sure the lesions, malignant or not, stay away. Dr. Saba had already set up CT scans for January anyway. It will be nice to see him and be able to celebrate the fact there was not cancer in my lungs. He gets a lot of credit for that since he prescribed the chemotherapy treatments before and after my lung surgery.

I am not sure who is "in charge" of me now. After my leg surgery, Doc O (leg surgeon) said he was my gatekeeper from then on, and he would be ordering all scans. When the Oct scans showed the lung problem he sort of turned me over to Dr. Miller (the lung surgeon) and I set up no further appmts with Doc O. Now Dr. Saba has ordered the lung scans, but I know in Jan I should be having a scan on my leg too. Who orders that? Hopefully tomorrow I will learn "Who's on first?"

However, I do know my real "first"is Bob. He came through for me once again-- as always! When I left the hospital they asked if I had someone who could take out the staples from my chest/side area so I would not have to come back to the doctor until a month after surgery. I am pretty sure they thought I knew a nurse, doctor friend, who could take the staples out. When I told them my husband could do it they asked me his background. When I told them he was an engineer they looked at me like I had 2 heads. I explained all the stuff Bob had had to do for me the last 10 months and that we had a lot of nurse and doctor neighbors if we had a problem. I am not sure they had the same level of confidence in Bob that I did but they gave me the staple removal kit none-the -less. Bob took them out last night with no problems. He is ready to perform heart surgery now.

And finally, we were able to set up a time to go to England to see Bob's family! We have not been in year since we missed our regular summer trip there. We are going at the end of December. I will only be gone about 10 days(I've got to get back to a normal working life!) and Bob is going to stay on a couple of weeks more so he can spend more time with his Mother and kids. We have both been looking forward to going for so long. I had hoped Bob could have gone late this summer, but we had to put that off when my leg wound was not healing as quickly as we'd hoped and I got the wound vac etc. He is still having to pack my leg wound each day but it should be closed up in the next week or so. Anyway we are excited about the trip. We could not get it scheduled to be there for Christmas, but we won't miss it by much. We've been spending the last few New Year's Eve in Sarasota, and we will miss that, but we are delighted to be able to ring in the new year in the UK. Actually, I am delighted to be able to ring in the new year anywhere --and especially to not be in the middle of chemo treatments while doing it!

I am now ready to get into the Hanukah/Christmas spirit! I have a lot to celebrate.

PS Just a reminder -- if you sent a comment to the blog I have no way of responding to it personally to you as they do not give me your email address. So if you've commented and not heard from me personally that is why. I have heard from so many folks-- and many I have not seen in years -- and I am so appreciative.

Just amazing

I don't think I even yet recognized the magnitude of what happened this week and how lucky I am. That this "lung thing" (I do not know what else to call it) was not cancer is something short of a miracle. Bob probably told you that Dr. Miller said only one other time in 20 years had he seen my same situation turn out as lucky as I was. All others (and this is basically what he does a for a living) had been malignant. Thanksgiving certainly takes on a whole new meaning for me this year.

I still feel pretty uncomfortable. I am sitting up better, but am living for my pain medication. I have about a 6 or 7 inch incision. I feel like someone kicked my in the side of my rib cage and slit me open with a knife. That is pretty much what happened. I can't really lift anything, and it is hard to reach for anything more than about 6 inches away(expecially dishes, laundry, etc). I do feel a little better each day but sometimes the slightest movement the wrong way really does hurt. This is my first time to even type, but Bob promised I would blog today and so I am!

And although I hurt like crazy, I could not be happier! I am so thankful and happy that I really do not care about about the pain. It will go away!

We cannot thank you all enough for everything you all have done for us the last several months and especially for your prayers in recent weeks! They worked, and we are so grateful.

I am about out of gas today so I am going to sign off until next week. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was just amazing!