A tribute to a wonderful friend

A million years ago when I was in college, I did a summer internship in the US Senate for Jim Allen of Alabama and befriended a woman, Jackie, whose was sort of my supervisor then. When I got out of college, and the Senator had an openning on his staff, Jackie told them I was the only one she wanted to work for her and she got me back to Washington for a real job (if there is such a thing on Capitol Hill). When Senator Allen died in office, and we both had to look for jobs, Jackie worked much harder helping me find a new position, than she did securing one for herself. Jackie had children my age and was more like a mother to me. In fact, she and her husband Mack, always referred to me as their "step daughter", and I really was their 5th child.

I probably have not seen Jackie in 25 years, but we've stayed in touch all this time. Jackie was one of the first people I contacted, when I found out I had sarcoma in 2006. She provided me the same loving support as she had years earlier. Less than a year ago, she told me her constant backache was lung cancer. We had lots of conversations about chemo, radiation, losing hair (although I don't think she ever did) and the hard task of letting someone else take care of you. No one was more independent, more "take charge" than Jackie, so this whole cancer thing was going to be a major change for her. She seemed to be handling things okay, happy with the life she'd led, no regrets, and willing to let her children and friends help her. When we talked several weeks ago, her voice did not seem as strong. When I found out about my reoccurance in June, I did not call and tell her, because I knew she would worry more about me than herself. That is just the kind of person she is.

Today, I learned from her daughters, that Jackie's illness has gotten much worse all of the sudden, and the doctors are stopping all treatment exept pain and anxiety medicine. Hospice has been called in, signaling that these are her last days. I always had "plans" to visit Jackie this summer, but somehow I never got around to it. Then I got scheduled for surgery and decided to put my visit off a few months. Much too late, I am afraid. I learned so much from Jackie - about life, friendship, loyalty, and work ethic, just to name a few. I was feeling pretty crappy today that I never took the time to time to go and visit her. Then I realized that was making this "all about me" and not about her. Jackie has had life a wonderfully full life and is surrounded by family and friends who love, adore, and respect her. When I called today, she had had 18 visitors. And although she was not conscious enough to acknowledge them, at some level she knew they were there for her. I sent her an email tonight, and her daughter Donna is reading it to her now. Even before that, I know she knew how much I loved her and how important she is to me. While I can't be there in person for her now, she is always in my heart.