My fault not Bob's

I am so sorry it has been a few days since we've blogged or even read personal email. I told Bob I would take over blogging a few days ago, but to be honest, I just have not felt that up to it. Since I got my staples out Thursday, each day does get better. The incision still really hurts, and I have to wind myself up like a pretzel (and take pain meds) to find a comfortable postion to sit or lay. When I am just an hour or two into the 4 hour pain med cycle, the discomfort does ease off a good bit. When I can find the right spot, I feel pretty good. I did not remember lung surgery being so miserable last time. My sisters say I say that about everything, even thinking chemo was not that bad, which is what I have said in the past. It is all coming back to me now! I get excited about going to sleep because I know tomorrow is going to be better than today.

I have had a couple of outings. I got my nails done (have my priorities straight) yesterday and today Syd and I went to Publix for about 20 minutes today. I am bored out of my mind, but I don't feel like doing much. Fortunately, there is a lot of tennis on (tournaments leading to the US Open) and of course HGTV!

Tuesday, I see chemo oncologist, Dr. D'Amato. I don't know that it is certain I will have chemo, and while I am going to be very upset if I do, I will be shocked if I don't. My "pie in the sky" prayer is that they will decide to wait and scan me in 3 months to see if there are any changes first. I am not sure how I came up with that as a treatment option, but I like it. I assume I will have some choice in the matter, and I don't want to do anything stupid. By the same token, if there is a 70% chance of recurrence with chemo and 73% without, I am going to have to do some thinking. If chemo can prevent another lung surgery then there are points in its favor. But if you recall, I had my last chemo mid Sept 2007 and my lung spot popped up around March 2009 -so a year and a half. Is that a long time in "chemo land"? Seems pretty short to me. And there is controversey about the effects (or lack there of) chemo has on types of Sarcoma. Luckily, Dr. D'Amato is well known and an expert in her field. Her patients love her. While I have met her at different Sarcoma events, I have never "worked" with her. I know we are lucky to have her in Atlanta heading Sarcoma research for Emory, so I feel I am in good hands. When she spoke to my sarcoma support group several months ago, they were doing all sorts of reseach for clinical trials for sarcoma patients who have had a recurrence. Maybe there will be something new for me--not as tough as my last chemo.

Taking a shower has been heavenly! Michelle had gotten me all waterproofed while she was here and Dr. Bob took over after that. It worked well, but after a while I get a little sensitive to tape (you'd think with my last name I should not have that problem!) so taking it off and on each day was a bit of a pain. Now I can shower as long as I can stand up - or till the hot water runs out. So Dr. Bob is back in business, and I just hate that he is stuck with all sorts of tasks. We got him a GPS system so he could get to Publix, the cleaners and my nail salon. He has had to be chief cook and bottle washer once again. We constantly have friends bringing over dinner so he has not had to cook much, but he does just about every thing else. We are so fortunate that he can work when he wants to and has not taken on any projects for the next few weeks until we can figure out what is next for me. We went looking for bandaging the other day, and he pulled out 3 huge boxes of medical supplies I had packed away after my 2007 adventure. Just looking at all that stuff reminded me of the medical degree he practically had to get to take care of me back then. I just wonder what people who don't have a Dr. Bob do? I am so lucky.

A bit of a commercial for Emory Midtown (aka Crawford Long) - the nursing staff was just incredible. In recent years, I have heard all sorts of nightmares about how understaffed hospitals are, and nurses are overloaded and may not can get back to the patients as quickly as we would like. The 2nd floor nurses station (heart and lung surgery patients I think) were just amazing. They did everything they could to keep me comfortable. My night nurse, Sonja, was with me on time with pain meds as soon as I was allowed to get them again. I particularly remember her, Debbie, Barbara, and D'Metrie, take extra special care to make sure I was as comfortable as possible- especially three days into my stay when they took the epidural out and the great affects of it started wearing off. They all told me that a thorochotamy was the 2nd worse surgery (I think from a comfort standpoint) to go though. Wonder what #1 is? I try to remind myself, I've made it through 2 of them (and one I did not need) so how can a little chemo get me down? I hope I remember this on Tuesday!

Thank heavens I also had Cindy overnight at the hospital for several nights, then Syd. Both have bad backs, and I am sure their hospital stays made them worse. I owe them both massages, and much more! We had a lot of different funny things happen, and of course, for sisters nothing is off limits, and we can find humor in most everything. While I had the epidural in, laughing was easy, but when it came out. I really had to fight to keep from cracking up because laughing hurt so badly. Cindy discovered I sort of "mumble hum" talking in my sleep. I kept her up all hours of the night, and Syd confimed it as well. I only did it a couple of nights after I got home, so I am guessing it was the affects of some of the drugs I was on. I would have conversations with inflection but not words. Cindy said it was like humming a sentence. She would get so tickled telling me about it, and I am sure the way she told it was funnier than it actually was. She probably does not want me to tell about her knocking over the unrine collection tray in the bathroom in the middle of the night, and she was sort of stuck there in her socks until I could get maintenance in to clean the floor up so she could get out. It was hilarious and worth getting out of bed to see.

Since I have been home this week I have learned that two people I am close to, one from work, and another good friend of mine's Mom have breast cancer. My heart and prayers go out to them daily. I hope they are as lucky as I am to have the incredible support system I have. You all have been so wonderful with your love, prayers and support. That is truly the great part of being sick -finding out all the friends, family, co-workers and even people I've never met - out there cheering me own each day. I am not sure how I got this lucky, but you all pulled me through this mess two years ago. I know we can get through it again if there is more to follow.

I probably won't blog again until after my doctor's visit Tuesday afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed there is another option besides chemo. I am sorry I worried some of you by not blogging. I really am doing better, it is just going to take a little more time before I feel really good.