More significan than I realized

I got a good report from Dr. Miller’s office. I should have seen it as a good sign right up front when he sent in Jim, his physician’s assistant to see me instead of him. My x-ray looked good, and I am no longer their patient unless I need them in the future. For some reason, I was only thinking of the x-ray I took today as something they would review to see how I am healing from the lung surgery. My sister Lisa pointed out that the first place they would see lesions on my lungs would be on an x-ray, so this is certainly something I should see as a good sign. I am feeling less nervous about my CT scan next month knowing today things look good. I told Jim, to “not take it personally, but unless it was in a restaurant I never wanted to see him again.” I am so glad to be fired as a patient.

I went over to the chemo center for a visit. At first, it was like going back to high school, after being in college, to see your old teachers. I was excited to see everyone, but after a few minutes I did get this bit of nervousness, reliving the last year. I noticed later that I really did not look at the patients at all. It was like they were blurred in the background. My head just did not want to go there and connect with them. I really want to get past all that. In fact, they told me they were going to start a sarcoma support group, and I really hope to be a part of that. Hopefully, I will only be there as a survivor giving support. I do think it is time for me to start “giving back” so maybe I can really help. I am not sure I would have participated while I was being treated, but I hope others will not feel that way. The only thing is I think they are going to meet at night, downtown at Crawford Long. I am not sure how many folks are going to want to come back down there while they are in treatment. I know I did not have the energy for that then. Maybe others will.

I saw Dr. Saba (my chemo doctor), and he did tell me I should come see him after I have my next scan. I am not sure if he will draw blood or why I will be there unless there is a problem with my scan, but I will certainly be compliant and set the appointment. It was fun seeing my nurses, PA’s and the administrative staff. They took me into the employee break room, and started bringing people in to see me. They even brought in the chemist (who mixes up the chemo drugs) to say hello. It’s funny. The whole time I was in chemo I don’t think we ever even spoke, but he came it to say “hi” anyway. I am so happy to be an alumni and not a current “student”!

You may remember when I was in radiation last summer, I’d met a woman Beverly who was also in insurance and was a patient (she had the red convertible I envied). Beverly lived alone and her family was not near by. She had cancer all over the place and was having radiation and chemo. She was even flying to New York at times to have chemo. They’d told Beverly at the time she only had about 6 months to live. We exchanged phone numbers and left a couple of voicemails for each other. Beverly had also been in the chemo center earlier today and was doing okay. I was really glad to hear that as her prognosis was not good. I don’t know if she was getting treatment but just visiting, but regardless, I am glad to see she is still fighting it.

Today is Wednesday, March 19 and so far I cannot get into the internet. So if this actually gets posted later in the week you will understand why. All in all, a pretty great day!