Good days

We've had a good few days with only minimal crises, thank goodness. I am still trying to get out for at least a few minutes each day--dressed in something other than a tee shirt and boxer shorts. Monday was really a big work day. I had a couple of conference calls and friend/co-worker Melinda came over and worked with me some at home, and we had an exciting outing to the Sprint store to get a bluetooth headset for my new cell phone. We even went in Publix for 5 minutes.

Tuesday was my dental appointment at 8am. I never knew getting my teeth cleaned would be so much fun. The friend and business associate, Jill came over here yesterday and we did a little work and actually went to Longhorn for lunch, only my second dining out experience in 6 months! I've learned I have to sit in a booth where I can lean on the wall and bring a little pillow to help. While it is not the most comfortable way to dine (no way really is right now) it is worth getting out and being social for a change.

Wednesday was a little more hairy. I had the appointment to have my PICC line put in so I could get chemo next week. I got there at 7:45 for an 8am procedure. They did not get me back to the surgeon till 10:20, and we were out of there by 11. It is the waiting that gets you. It did not hurt during the process, but my arm is pretty sore now, but not unbearable. Nurse Kathy came to her thing about 1pm. She hurt me. It is not her personally, but it is the nature of what she has to do, that hurts. And it continues to be sore for a day or so (usually just about untill the day she comes back - Mon-Wed-Fri) to do it again. I had time to work in the afternoon and, being the social animal I am (trying to become), I went to dinner with friend Rita. Two meals out in two days. Wow! Again, I get tired really quick, but it is worth the try. We had wanted to go out before I started chemo and go into hibernation for a month, and it was really good and fun.

When I came back about 9am I noticed my wound vacuum said it was working appropriately, but nothing was going through the tubing. We have been here before. I did a good job of not freaking out (as I had on Tuesday night when the machine cut itself off, but only because the canister was full -- easily fixed-- but raised my anxiety level about 500%). We knew Nurse Kathy was in Macon and would not be back till Friday. We could call, and we knew what she would say to do -- turn it off, take off the bandaging, put on some regular bandaging (we've discovered maxi-pads to be the best!) and she would get someone else out in the morning. Being the Doctor/engineer that he is, Bob already knew what was wrong and how to fix it. Without getting to technical, it is really Nurse Kathy's fault. They way she cuts some of the bandaging causes it to get sucked into the vaccuum and block anything else from being sucked in. This is really more a laws of science (physics) issue than medical, so really, Bob is the expert here. We have been trying to figure out a way to tell Kathy how she is screwing this up (as it has happened a few times) so we figure on Friday, when she comes, we are just going to have to come clean. We removed the bandaging (I did that is --I no longer let anyway take tape off me. They just cannot feel it the way I do and they hurt me. Little hairs stuck to tape hurt when you rip them off!) and Bob cut the new bandaging and tubing the way it should have been cut, and we re-bandaged, hooked up the machine and it worked! We knew there was no way Home Health would have allowed us to do this since they are liable. He did not touch the wound and was really more sterile than Kathy usually is. Science, and common sense, won out over medical "know how". So we will confess to Kathy on Friday, and Bob will have to figure out a way to tell her what she has been doing wrong. He manages to do this with me all the time, so I am sure he will have no problem doing it! Hopefully, he will be a little more tactful than he is with me!

Thank heavens for Bob. I just don't know what I would do without him -- and it is not just the emotional and physical support. I am pretty sure his vast knowledge and common sense has done so much to improve my medical condition and keep me alive on a day to day basis. Being able just to run this equiptment they keep throwing at us has been huge. We never seem to get any machines or procedures that don't break or go haywire at some point. I am clueless about it all and get hysterical. Bob stays cool and calm and just fixes everything. I know how incredibly lucky I am to have him. I am a little concerned that I am getting too dependent on him which is really strange for someone like me who spent so many years being single and relying on no one but myself. The test will be my first night out of town alone on business, or if he goes to England for a couple of weeks without me. I know I can handle it, but I know I will feel differently about being apart from him than I did last year. While I always miss him, it will not be the same. He has become my lifeline at a critical period of my life when I needed it. I am so fortunate.

I am dreading and looking forward to chemo. I hate the way I feel physically when I am there, but mentally I do feel a strange sense of security just in the chemo room. Maybe it is knowing what they did in there and in radiation killed the cancer. Or just knowing if something goes wrong there are tons of medical experts just right there (although Bob has been a lot more valuable in many instances). Of course he is usually there with me too for a good part of the day so I have the best of both worlds. The US Open starts Monday so I will have something to watch. Marva, one of the nurses, is huge tennis fan (as a spectator not a player) and she knows much more about the players than I do, so it will be fun to get to watch it some with her. We always figured I would be back for my last rounds of chemo either around Wimbledon or the US Open. I am not looking forward to feeling crappy for the next month or so on top of still carrying this wound vac with me too. While in chemo treatment, I have this other thing I have to carry with me 24 hrs a day for 3 days. It will be connected to tubing in my left arm. The wound vac is connected to my right leg. So I will have tubing all over the place. What a pain! But if all goes well, by this time next month, I will be ending my last chemo treatment! So I guess I am looking forward to getting started Monday!